Edit: to clarify what I’ve noticed is a point of contention, by “break-up” I don’t mean I believe we’re together, or expecting this to follow romantic relational patterns, or anything of the sort, I was referring to a general concept of “this is over,” meaning any level of interaction. Nor am I waiting for a confirmation of anything developing from her. I genuinely just wanted to get closure and confirm the ghost.

Me again… and, yes, this is a continuation of this and this.

TL;DR: first crush and best friend in high-school reached out after 20 years of not talking, I fell in love with her again, she gave me mixed messages when I tried backing off, and then everything turned ugly when she thought I was pressuring her into defining a relationship by asking her once if she still wanted to chat. Had a brief argument around reading comprehension and semantics, then she vanished mid-conversation for two weeks.

Now that we’re caught up, I sent her a text on Saturday, trying to tie up all loose ends. Basically, I wanted to confirm the ghost, see if she really just decided to not deal with this, or if something else happened. Sent her the message, waited for about 6-7 hours, then sent a “Hint taken, have a good’un” (not verbatim).

She then replied saying she started having side-effects from recent medication and felt she didn’t have the mental space to handle more than one thing at a time. She concluded with “but I did not mean it to end in silence.” Didn’t probe any further, told her to drop a line when she feels like it, that there’s no pressure now as there was none before.

After sleeping on it for the rest of the weekend, I now feel like I’m just waiting for a “break-up” text. In which case, I’d honestly just rather end it now and spare myself the indeterminate amount of time I’ll have to spend in expectation of her message, but i don’t want to do anything rash because I know I’m not even close to thinking straight now.

I, again, ask and thank you for any insight. I wish this’d just end already, I swear, I feel that I just need a clear conclusion right now…