I wanted to create entertainment media, clothes, websites, and a lot more honestly. I also thought of having children but I didn’t think I’d ever find someone I actually loved. Well now I’m in a relationship, and children have been discussed multiple times, but I feel like I’m doing everything way too late. I’m 27, finding myself like a tween since I was abused into being a zombie when I was that age.
Everyone else already moved out at 19 and are married at 25 the latest and usually have children around 27. I’m still stuck living with family who bullied and abused me the most and still do today. I really did not want to choose between having children at a better time and experiencing having my own space where I won’t be abused for being too comfortable or happy. I really wanted to have my own space I could decorate with things that wouldn’t be destroyed by marijuana addicts who are So Enlightened and believe material possessions are meaningless. I wanted to experience having my own apartment originally for 10 years but now at least 5 years.
If I delay any more it’ll be way too late to have children. They’ll have a much higher chance of having some disability that society would bully them into suicide for having, or they won’t have much time with their parents. I don’t want to be old and needy while they’re still growing either. I also don’t want to miss out of creating the things I had planned either. There’s no way I could work a job and raise them at the same time either.
I’d be able to do all these things if I were just raised as a kid instead of being locked away in an institution that made me less than dead weight for 10 years, forced to know my place as scum below society whose only value is inspiring actual people to not be outdone by worthless scum for the next 5 years before I dropped out of college, and forced to wait to grow until I wasn’t in college anymore. I still hated myself to the point I continued to stagnate until I changed my name which I had to hide from family to avoid more bullying. But they eventually found out and I’m a much bigger joke than I was before.
I hate my family for taking 20 years from me that I’ll never get back, and I hate all of society for justifying it, by claiming some stupid disorder that could mean anything could actually exist. What is the point of a disorder that literally only serves as a “Something Happened” error message? Oh right it’s so quirky on tiktok and all these real actual people actually raised to be actually contributing members of society who made fun of those short bus kids who are so below them now call themselves that stupid word for clout. I hate this stupid world and honestly I was right when I wanted to die years ago knowing nothing would improve.
I know this is your vent, so you may not want any responses at all, so feel free to ignore this; I don’t want anyone feeling pressured to read unsolicited advice.
27 is young. I remember being that age, and finally feeling like I was getting the hang of this adulting shit. I hit my mid thirties and thought it again. And again at 40. I could keep going, but I’m only fifty, and the only thing I’m really certain of is that I’m done being certain certain of anything that isn’t scientifically proven. Which means I’ll never be certain I’m an adult at all.
It sucks escaping abuse, it really does kinda freeze your development. But you aren’t too old to live a great life.
You do have to think ahead regarding kids, but you’ve got a bigger window than you think. The incidence of birth defects and related issues doesn’t climb high enough to become a serious problem until the 40s, with good medical care.
Even then, again with access to medical care, it’s entirely possible to have perfectly healthy children.
If you choose not to, by that age there’s a much better chance you’ll be in a stable life situation, which makes you a better candidate to adopt, foster, or whatever other options might be available by then. And I can promise you that there’s a depth of beauty and love in being a parent by those means. It’s a different path than biologically becoming a parent, but it’s not lesser by any means. It is fulfilling and wonderful, just as its stressful and painful.
Give yourself a few years to find your footing before you get too worried about that side of things. You really do have a solid decade before any of the risks associated with age become significant enough to matter.
Besides, they’re still risks, not guarantees. Risks can be mitigated.
27 is young. I remember being that age, and finally feeling like I was getting the hang of this adulting shit. I hit my mid thirties and thought it again. And again at 40. I could keep going, but I’m only fifty, and the only thing I’m really certain of is that I’m done being certain certain of anything that isn’t scientifically proven. Which means I’ll never be certain I’m an adult at all.
Geez, this was so f%#$ing insane to read. You could’ve just ended your comment there and it’d still be mind-blowing. I’m so blown away.
You’re so humble.
If more people were like you, this entire world would be a better place. I don’t really know what else to say except that I almost wish I knew you in person or something, or maybe that OP met you.
Sincerely,
A mid-30s-year-old who feels like his life sorta simultaneously started and endedSeriously, there is a huge number of people that I know who would say their life “started” around 30
People have children in their thirties all the time. People have children in their forties too. I’ve even seen some fringe cases where women have had children in their fifties.
If there were things you wanted to do why didn’t you? And before you come out with an excuse, you can probably google someone who did what you want with the excuse you have in mind. Confront that reality and you can now ask yourself what you want to do now and if what’s stopping you actually is.
