This question has been around for a while but I’m curious as to your answer

    • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      It isn’t. If you’ve ever been raped in your sleep, by someone, then you’d understand. My husband knew that his half brother’s dad raped me in my sleep when visiting our apartment years ago. I thought my son was my husband’s son. My husband later told me what happened to me that night.

      I went to sleep, and my husband let that person into our apartment to hang out. At some point, the guy found his way to our bedroom where I was already asleep, because I had to go to work the next morning. Apparently, my sort of situation isn’t that rare.

        • Sizzler@slrpnk.net
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          7 months ago

          One person equating their personal experience to everyone. Clearly not realising that within the next 24 hrs the guys will get back, see the results and dump at least 1/5th of their unfaithful partners.

        • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          Yep. Obscenities and anger. That is usually the type of responses I receive when trying to address this issue. It is usually male commenters that want me to shut up, and are trying to make me remove my comment. I hope your girlfriend or wife doesn’t have this same experience involving being violated in her sleep. Perhaps with someone like you, as a partner, she will just be forced to keep it to herself, even if you witnessed the assault occur. Oh well. Not my problem, I guess. I’m just another Lemmy reader who doesn’t want to see that happen to another woman. Don’t mind me.

      • ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I can’t fathom how a husband can know his wife has been raped but do nothing and say nothing about it. Did he sit and watch? How does he know it happened if not? Where was he when this happened? How did he justify not telling you? Why would he not report this crime? How has this rapist not been held accountable, by your husband at least? If I knew with certainty someone raped my wife the police would be involved immediately. If there were some details that meant we couldn’t get the authorities involved, I’d mete out some violent justice myself assuming the rapist isn’t going to report me since he doesnt want the authorities involved either.

        • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          The guy who did it was related to the chief of police, who is now the mayor of the city in which my husband and I resided. I also learned that the man who raped me is related to me. My mother is trying to cover it all up now, and wants me to shut up about it. I know it doesn’t seem reasonable, but dna testing would really support what I’m saying.

      • /home/pineapplelover@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        How heavy of a sleeper do you have to be to not get awaken by rape? Wtf

        Also, I wouldn’t ever recommend those online ancestry sites. Even they claim that the stuff is for entertainment only. Go to an actual geneticist doctor to get tested.

        • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          The guy who did it used to brag that he could put his dog to sleep by holding down its jugular, usually in a headlock, until it passed out. He use to brag about this, in an addition to all of the Krav Maga he knew. I don’t exactly know what happened to me. All I know is, I was asleep. I’m grateful for my son. I love my son very much. It’s just often awkward to explain to people who weren’t there when that happened. I usually just keep it to myself. My husband use to make comments about it all the time. In fact, when my son was born, he kept complaining that NJ (the guy’s initials for anonymity here), should be there at the hospital. He hadn’t explained what happened to me, at that point, so I was really confused. Why would I want my brother in law’s dad there, right?

          Anyway, I usually give up on explaining it to other people, because it’s usually met with a lot of angry disbelief. I usually tell people if they don’t believe me, they can just go ask my husband. Unfortunately, all of aftermath of my son’s birth led to us separating multiple times. I want court ordered dna tests, but I have no idea where NJ is, and I have been told that NJ is not even the name that is on that guy’s actual birth certificate. When my son eventually takes a test like ancestry.com’s dna test, it will link his paternal relatives to him. Through that, everyone will eventually realize it was NJ that made him, even if NJ is probably not in the ancestry.com system with his own dna sample.

          • /home/pineapplelover@lemm.ee
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            7 months ago

            Along with those sites not being accurate, they have given the dna up to law enforcement. So it’s also an invasion of your entire family’s privacy once you submit those tests. Anyways, if you go to an actual doctor, you just need to compare your husband’s and your child’s blood, you don’t need NJ’S blood.

            • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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              7 months ago

              No, my husband isn’t their dad. He and I already established that. I don’t think you understand what I am trying to explain. Please read my original comment.