I don’t trust the liberal science agenda so I did my own research. Using some back-of-the-napkin math and my telescope, I’m now blind from looking at the sun through a telescope. This is being transcribed by my trad wife. My results:

2 > 1

This one checks out, folks.

As someone who worked in a gas station for 24 years…

sigh

I’d do it. I’d suck it up. I’d make some damn good friends along the way and then I’d never maintain those friendships and feel guilty for the rest of rest of my life. “Just call him, dipshit. He’s going through a divorce! Just go fishing! Pleaaassse! Ok, here goes. Tomorrow.”

Always tomorrow.