• Flummoxed@lemmy.world
    56·
    13 days ago

    I lost myself. I married someone who slowly whittled me down to nothing over ten years.

    I am divorcing him. It’s been five months since I just didn’t go home. It’s been really hard, hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m coming back to life slowly.

    I can’t wait to see who I become.

  • hactar42@lemmy.world
    33·
    13 days ago

    The ability to relax. I have a special needs child who constantly screams at us. We have no respite because none of our relatives are willing to deal with him anymore. All of his therapies and medical bills have nearly bankrupt me. My wife is suffering from PTSD because of it. We are on every waiting list for state resources but so far nothing.

    Even as I tried to write this comment, I had to stop what I was doing because my wife went to the bathroom, and my son decided to yell at her because she left a pot on the stove.

    I am completely incapable of relaxing anymore. If I do get a chance I’ll just be racked with intrusive thoughts. Like last night I was watching Stranger Things and when I saw a kid on there with braces, all I could think was, “I need to get my son braces. But since he can’t handle someone touching his face, it is going to be a nightmare. He’s 13 and I still have to monitor his teethbrushing, who knows how much it will suck with braces. It will also be way more expensive because we’ll have to sedate him, for every appointment” Then I spiral down from there. This is just one small example.

    I’m in therapy and on meds for it. And so is my wife. I wish I lived in a state with legal marijuana because it’s the only thing I’ve found that will actually help me relax. At this point we are actually considering selling our house, so we can afford to send him to a boarding school that is designed for kids like him. And maybe then we can get some respite.

    • pseudonym@monyet.cc
      12·
      13 days ago

      Man that’s rough, I feel for you. I’m also on a waiting list for support for my kid. Some days are better than others but it can be really tough. Sorry to hear you’re going through that.

    • Passerby6497@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      11 days ago

      In a similar situation, and about to lose my wife for a week or more so she can come back from the edge out son has pushed her to.

      I’m so tired.

      • hactar42@lemmy.world
        3·
        9 days ago

        I feel your pain. Hopefully when she gets back she’ll be better able to help with things. My wife and I have had to do similar things where one of us takes a vacation, just so we can better help afterwards. You got this!

  • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.eeEnglish
    13·
    13 days ago

    I haven’t genuinely enjoyed myself in so long, that’s something I think I may have lost. I have no idea how I’ll get it back.

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
      5·
      13 days ago

      Are you open to people making binding suggestions? Like committo try random stuff people offer and try everything out so you have an opportunity to recalibrate or reorient?

      • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.eeEnglish
        2·
        13 days ago

        Yes, and I’ve done a variant of this. I do a lot of art and lately have been trying a little of every art medium. Sketches, digital art, chalk art, tattooing, baking cakes, crop circles, etc. When I stop doing something, it’s like my emotional focus turns off though.

  • NutinButNetEnglish
    12·
    13 days ago

    Lost my wallet yesterday. Already canceled and got new replacement cards coming in.

    I didn’t realize how easy it was going to be getting a replacement drivers license. I was fretting having to schedule an appointment.

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
      2·
      14 hours ago

      Are you dipped in the Apple ecosystem at all? Might be worth it to get ApplePay and AirTags setup so you can keep tabs on the actual physical wallet betterwith AirTags and use ApplePay to minimize the amount of movingcards in and out creating opportunities for loss.

      Wallet cases can be helpful if your phone has one that is designed for it on the market

      • NutinButNetEnglish
        2·
        6 hours ago

        I am and yes that helped a ton!

        All of my banks even my small credit union let me lock the cards and also order new ones in the app and one updated my cards in Apple Pay so I could have a card in the meantime through Apple Pay. Very helpful for the places that accept it.

        • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
          2·
          5 hours ago

          Maybe consider getting one of those zippered folio type wallets that you keep at home or in your car (one stable location) to be the master card storage place and get a wallet case for your phone for the most important common cards you need to keep on your person at all times. Get that AirTag and keep it in the folio, then use the wallet case for your phone as you go about everyday which houses your iphone which you can track in itself because its an iPhone or whatever

  • 🐋 Color 🔱 ♀@lemm.eeEnglish
    11·
    13 days ago

    Inclination to trust people after an abuse of loyalty.

    I saw a classmate who didn’t appear to have any friends, and I felt bad for them, so I started sitting next to them at the dinner tables and we quickly became friends. I’d only known them for maybe two weeks at most, when they suddenly demanded a large sum of money from me, money which I neither had at the time, and a transaction that my family would not have approved of. I politely declined their request, and their whole personality changed after that.

    They got jealous whenever I was talking with my other friends. They started to send me aggressive messages, and started to spread rumours about me, rumours which were not believed due to my good standing with everyone, lack of evidence, and also because of how bizarre they were. I even had people come up to me and tell me, "Elaine, they’re making up stuff about you, what’s going on?"I believe they may have gotten expelled because a few days later they stopped showing up to school.

    I think with time it’ll get better, but I’m going to be at least a little suspicious of people. Time will tell.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
    8·
    12 days ago

    This question hurts so much because I’ve lost so much and I have absolutely no way of fixing any of it. I try so hard and I’m so tired of working so much for a total ingrate and having zero to show for it. Things are really, really bad. I see no way to fix anything.

      • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
        2·
        11 days ago

        My SO. I work two jobs to keep us barely afloat due to cost of living and the financial wreck he’s landed us in. He’s basically a sociopath and I have no money to leave, despite me working night and day while he watches TV all night, and he does a zillion petty things in exchange for that, including for the last month giving me the silent treatment beyond administrative stuff, throwing potholders at me, shaking his fist in my face for not setting the temperature in the car the way he wants it and threatening to not pay the credit cards in my name, and basically starving my life. There’s a million other things but I’m so numb to it it’s hard to verbalize.

        • plzExplainNdetail@slrpnk.net
          3·
          11 days ago

          If you’re the one working then why would your SO be able to threaten to not pay bills? Maybe it’s time to change which account your paychecks are going to. Have you considered opening a separate account just for you? Or try taking your name (or theirs) off as many joint accounts as possible. Maybe freezing your credit so nothing else can be opened in your name (assuming you’re in the us)? Are you are legally married to them? If so filing for divorce might be another avenue to talk to a lawyer about. (Most lawyers don’t charge for the initial consultation).

          Are there any domestic violence shelters in your vicinity? It truely sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship and being held hostage in your own home. It’s only a matter of time before the violence gradually increases, because nothing you will ever do will appease them long enough to change their minds on how to treat you. Can you record people in your state/country? The us has some states where only one party needs permission to record so giving yourself permission is fully acceptable to begin recording. There are also some apps that can record audio/video when the phone appears off and uploads the video onto the internet.

          You do not have to answer any of these questions. This internet stranger is just worried for you and truly hopes you find a safe haven. Regardless of anything else, I’m proud of you for working so hard to better yourself and your circumstances!

  • Breezy@lemmy.world
    5·
    11 days ago

    My weight. Ive already lost 40 lbs after i started working again. But i still have another 80 to lose. I want to get back to what i had 7 years ago.

    With or without a cocaine habit.