The other day I saw a post somewhere on Lemmy, it seems to have been taken down or at least I’m unable to find it again, by some dickwad asking, pretty clearly it bad faith, why people felt like they needed the day off from work or school after the election. It was full of him bitching about basically people being too soft if they couldn’t handle their feelings being hurt and that sort of garbage. This was basically going to be my reply to that.
I work in 911 dispatch, that should tell you that I’m the kind of person who can handle stress well, i’ve dealt with some crazy shit both at work and in my personal life, I don’t think anyone is going to claim I’m someone who’s easily rattled.
And still, despite all of the things I’ve seen, done, heard, and been a part of, I have never felt as physically sick from stress as I did watching the election results coming in Tuesday night.
I was at work, and in the midst of it as it was becoming clear that Trump was going to win, right around 2AM, I got one of those really insane calls, the kind of thing that makes the evening news and that they make true crime TV shows out of, that normally leaves even a hardened tough guy like me a little bit shaken-up, and all I felt was relief because something finally came along to wrench my mind from the election.
I woke up the next day still feeling sick to my stomach. My wife woke up in tears. I spent the day feeling like I was lost in a fog, and by the next day the fog lifted giving way to a simmering rage that I’m not sure will ever go away entirely. Luckily Wednesday and Thursday were my scheduled days off this week, I genuinely don’t think I could have worked Wednesday night feeling like I felt.
I’m an old boy scout, I took the scout motto of “be prepared” to heart, I believe that most people don’t really rise to the occasion but instead they fall to their level of training, and all the other sayings and such about preparedness and self-reliance and all of that, and I’ve prepared myself so that I am rarely at a complete loss of what to say or do in any given situation, I have plenty of training and life experience to fall back on.
No one ever trains you how to watch democracy die.
Or how to handle something like ¾ of your country turning their back on your most deeply-held values either by actively voting against them or by not even caring enough to bother showing up to vote.
And nothing prepares you to look around you in a 911 dispatch center, surrounded by people that people are supposed to be able to trust to stand for justice, safety, law, order, security, fairness, equity, compassion, basic human decency, who are supposed to stand up for and provide assistance to vulnerable members of our community when they need it most, who like to pat themselves on the back for being the “calm voice in the night” or the “thin gold line”…
… And realizing that most of them either don’t care or are actively rooting for a man who stands for the exact opposite of all of those values.
For the first time I can remember I feel well and truly lost. I tend to be the guy people turn to when they have a problem because I know how to fix it or I at least know how to find someone who can. I don’t know how to fix this, and I certainly don’t have a guy for this. I’m gonna keep on soldiering on until I figure it out or I guess I’ll die trying, but I really don’t know what my path forward from here is going to be. And if I need some time to figure this shit out. I certainly won’t think less of anyone who needs the same.
And everyone deals with different kinds of stresses differently and more or less successfully than anyone else. Despite the crazy shit I’ve managed to deal with, there’s other more mundane situations that some people can handle just fine that I can’t hack. Put me in a regular office environment with reports, paperwork, deadlines and presentations, and I’d probably be burned out in a week. It’s like the old saying about trying to judge a fish by its ability to climb trees.
It’s ok to not be ok right now, honestly I think anyone who says they’re ok right now is either faking it or a psychopath. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, if you have it in you, try to check in on others to make sure they’re doing ok and getting what they need too. The only way we’re getting through this is together.
You must log in or register to comment.
Yall area a bunch of premadonas lol
If you’re going to insult me, at least do it properly, the term you’re looking for is “prima donna”
Italian for “first lady” the lead female singer in a theater company who would be given the prime roles. Because they were big draws at the box office, they got preferential treatment and could tend to be demanding.
Proper Italian pluralization would be “prime donne” but “pima donnas” is more commonly used in English.
I’m halfway around the world and I felt it, same as you. Everything about community, looking out for each other, coming together for a greater good etc has been thrown out because money, sticking it to the enemies and ‘I got mine’.
I said in another thread that if aliens ever invaded, we wouldn’t be able to stand as one human race, because we have too many lazy, selfish, uneducated, self righteous, myopic, entitled pricks around. We’d sell our our brothers and sisters for a handful of sheckels so we didn’t get woke. It happened to my country during WW2 but hey, ‘that was a different time’, right? Right? Yeah right.
I was watching Kimmel rattle out a LONG list of things we could say good bye to post election, and the gravity sort of hit me, because it wasn’t clear what we would lose, or just how much.
I hope it was worth it, america. I really do.
Everything about community, looking out for each other, coming together for a greater good etc has been thrown out
When did you think, or feel, that this was the case?
You need to get out of your privileged environment and come to a third world country. They do it all the time.
Why would I prefer that? I’m quite happy to live somewhere there’s almost no nationalism.
That’s why I wondered what the comment was referring to.
I felt such an ominous sense of dread on wenesday followed by anxiety and anger the last few days. As a Canadian, I am not going to be a direct target or victim, but I am so worried about the cruelty and suffering this will bring on others. The harassment and violence have already started to spread, the amount of people contemplating suicide is heartbreaking. There will undoubtedly be so much damage beyond the USA, be it from foreign policy, idiotic economic shortsightedness, or malicious decisions on environmental policy. I have had to start blocking out news and social media related to the election because it was really affecting me mentally, I feel bad avoiding/embracing ignorance, but I need a break
I’ve been channeling my anxiety into, upon recognizing that I cannot escape this sinking ship, that I might actually be able to help others escape with their lives, should it come to that. In fact, several times PER DAY over the past week, it was the reminder that other people need me more than ever right now and that I can’t help anyone if I’m gone that has become the most reliable terminator for self-destructive ideations.
OP, if you hear about anything like an “Underground Railroad” network forming to assist people in evacuating the united states, please keep me in mind and let me know. I’m no Oskar Schindler myself, but if someone is stepping up into that role, I want to be working with them. We can’t save everyone but we can save some and that will have to be worthy enough.
The modern Reichstag hasn’t burned yet… but we will not get any more warnings between now and when it does. Mean time, I’m sure it’s crossed your mind, and I can only offer preparation encouragement:
- Cancel all entertainment subscriptions, embargo your household against restaurants and fast food, and shun all luxuries, throw every last penny you can into the survival fund.
- Make sure the identification documents for every member of your household are in order at hand
- Acquire and/or ensure maintenance is up to date on personal defense equipment.
- Pack a go-bag for all household members with all essential “restart our lives from scratch” supplies.
- Optionally, establish mustering/rallying points with family or other households you trust.
Goodness forbid it should ever be necessary… hopefully by the time the brownshirts come knocking, you and yours will be somewhere they can’t find you.
Yeah, I’m not part of any of the demographics that are gonna get hit hard, except for the financial bits, that I’ll probably be screwed on since I’m not making 6+ figures, though I am over the median income in my area.
But just thinking and remembering how chaotic the first term was, and realizing that he’s gonna have sycophants and a freaking playbook, I had to take the day off.
I was one of those people that was thinking at how great all those states were in enshrining abortion access in their state constitutions, but then frickin voting for the people that will very likely enact a national ban. Then remembering that my wife and i are trying for a girl and that if the ban happens during that she could end up like the other stories of women (already mothers or looking forward to being one) dying from infections and/or sepsis because docs wouldn’t treat them. We’ve already gone through losing a pregnancy, she bled for a week and a half, but luckily nothing extra needed done. Who knows what could happen we go through that again.
Then these folks are also typically against renewables, the area i work in. My team is fighting for extra help and our company has benefited and expanded greatly thanks to the IRA. Red team thinks solar/wind = green new deal = IRA = BAD so Im anticipating that affecting many aspects of my workplace. Of course our CEO sent out a letter stating they are “looking forward” to working with Trump and team…….right.
When I got back to work my lead was asking me how i was doing, he pretty much pooh pooh’d my concerns away saying its not gonna be that bad and people were making mountains out of mole hills pretty much. This dude is ex-military. Trumps comments alone on folks that served should have been enough alone to discredit him. Guess what else is probably gonna get hit hard? The VA that my lead uses. He’s also on disability and pretty much gets what i make a month alone on top of his salary. Very much a Joe Rogan/Ticker Carlson “just asking questions” type.
All I can think is that bo matter the general subject, its gonna get very much worse for the next 4+ years. And hopefully I’ll still have my wife around if we continue trying.
It’s so funny to me how a lot of the people that voted for Trump seem to think it’ll not be that bad. Dude, he literally told you ALL of his plans. Even if only half of it goes through it’s still going to get significantly harder for most people. How can you willingly vote for that?
I’m over in the Netherlands but I have in-laws in the USA and many of them either didn’t vote or voted republican according to my partner. I tried my best convincing them to at least vote but it’s pointless, many people believe that it doesn’t matter who you vote for because the secret elite in the background will determine the result anyway.
I honestly feel sick to even be in-law related to Trump voters and it’s really making me not want to talk to those people ever again. It’s hard to realize that much of her family is heavily reliant on medication for various conditions (diabetes, heart disease, painkillers, etc) and that it’ll most likely get much harder for them once Trump takes office and starts destroying Obamacare again.
Yeah most of my family are in the southeast portion of my state and I know most, if not all voted for Trump. While there’s a good degree of separation (its a 6-8 hour drive to visit with kiddos in tow) we were all much closer when I was young and its difficult to wrangle with that.
I know for Thanksgiving some of the family comes up to visit and thankfully we never have politics come up. So no crazy uncle ranting and raving or anything like that. But with my dad just having a transplant recently and a lot of them being anti-vaxx, my parent haven’t been able to go visit their siblings and cousins. Not sure if anyone will be able to come up thanks to their views.
2 things that made me feel better -
-
Tucker complaining about Mitch not being maga enough this week- there’s so much infighting in their party that even when they agree on the desired outcome the path is so muddy that it’s often slow and messy.
-
We have a real opportunity (obligation) to help the people who will be hardest hit by this. As much as i want to pull the covers over my head or drink myself into political amnesia, there are other people who really need help. It’s small, but i found 3 things i can do - I’ll look more into the Auntie Network, they help women traveling for reproductive healthcare - When I’m cleaning out my mom’s house I’ll donate items to groups that directly help my community instead of trying to sell on marketplace - I’ll look for ways to offer support to my school kids in immigrant families. They’re often afraid to take kids to the doc because they don’t want to be ‘in the system.’ Find resources I can offer/recommend to them.
-
FYI, !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world had a few threads recently on how to deal with thé aftermath of the election
You need to get out of your privileged environment and come to a third world country. They do it all the time.
Edit: deleted. This comment was meant for a reply to one of my comments, below.
Can’t fix what ain’t broken or is fundamentally broken.
Currently, intelligence and the ability to reason seems to be an unintended side effect of evolution. At its core, the sense of self is in contradiction with the natural state of things, because it can and will go against the other at any point.
If we consider the natural state as a river flowing in a set direction, then free will can be considered as an object within that river which can divert its flow, obstruct it or even aspire to reverse it. However, swimming against the current is tiresome and rarely brings out the sought results. So, eventually, the obstruction gives way and is smoothed out into nothingness.
Sadly the natural state is currently seen as hurtling inescapably towards decay. Due to this, it’s easier to self-destruct, it’s easier to accelerate the flow and it’s easier to be horrible than to take responsibility for decency.
Honestly, we indeed are our worst enemies. But the natural state of the world itself ain’t that much of an inspiration either.
Not everyone wants to be a hero and seeing the ones we have being destroyed left and right, well, it’s kind of hard to want being one. So we fall. Because fuck it, we deserve to, don’t we?
If you look at it from this perspective, there’s no deserving anything, things just happen.
Intelligence evolved because it’s great for an individual to navigate their social circles. But we’re unable to apply it in larger groups. As states, nations, large inernational groups, we are utterly stupid.
Yet there are precedents where people were able to organize on international level in a meaningful and positive way. Let’s mention the end of freons or positive internet projects like Wikipedia.
We might be headed into darker times now and I feel a lot of panic. It’s important to remember that change for the better is possible and happens from time to time.
