Just saying, you might want to fire the guy who does the background checks around here.

That’s my stapler

Walt, seriously?

Oh I forgot to ask at the interview, do you have a policy on drug dealing? Because I’ve got a couple of baggies I could do with shifting

Ahhh, shit. There goes my unemployment.

can i get salary rise already?

“Oh good. I won’t have to use that hidden webcam in your shower for leverage after all!”

heavy breathing

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