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Joined 10 days ago
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Cake day: October 23rd, 2025

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  • If you want to leave her, I think that’s what you should do. Her actions as a result of your boundaries are not your responsibility. She has her needs, and you have yours. You are not her therapist. You can still say this in a respectful manner, doing your part. How she reacts is her part.

    My “ex”, that is someone I told from the start I’m not sure about this, which she said she was okay with, but then started calling it a relationship, also used self-harm and a bunch of manipulative stuff. She also had heavy BPD, which helped me understand some of her actions better. I don’t blame her for the manipulation and everything, but I simply have my boundaries too. So when I broke things off as respectfully and considerately as possible, she went on a self-destructive binge for a couple of weeks. We became friends for a while afterwards. And she told me how much the “break-up” had hurt her, and asked me if I’d feel guilty had she killed herself. I would feel absolutely terrible. But I’d know it wouldn’t have been my fault. Which she agreed with. I mean, for me at least, what’s the alternative? Both of us living a vapid relationship that has no roots, out of fear?