I’m a 21 year old guy and struggle with depression for my whole life because of traumatic things I experienced from my parents.
About 2 years ago I completely lost all my spirit and willingness in life. I fell into this dark hole where I’m not able to do anything on my own anymore and had to move back to my parents since I wasn’t able to live on my own anymore.
Since then I spent the full 2 years completely alone in my room every single day and haven’t been outside or met anyone since. I only get outside maybe once a month to buy groceries but except from that I don’t see the world anymore, have no activities to do and live with pure hopelessness, no money and very little food.
Even though my family knows all that and I’m crying out for help, no one is helping me. I’ve lived in many facilities before, went to therapy and have a psychiatrist but all they do is talk but that’s it. I tried my very best but realized that I’m just not capable to live on my own.
And then all my parents do (especially my father) is treating me the same way like when I was a kid that caused my depression in the first place by letting out their dissatisfaction/frustration with themselves on me and baselessly blaming/criticizing me for every little thing. And all that is just making it so much worse and harder for me to get out of the situation.
They let me suffer in hell until I go insane or die.
I don’t understand why this world is so cruel. It feels like no one cares about people who suffer.
I don’t get that. If I was better off and knew someone in such a situation I would do everything to help them and give them what they need. Why is no one helping and just let you suffer like that?
I started my long journey of alcholisim at that age for similar reasons. LPT: Don’t take that route. It makes things worse.
In many ways, this world is an amazing place. In many ways, it absolutely isn’t. There is a ton of kindness to be found but also there is a ton of hatred and disregard. It just is what it is, unfortunately.
Honestly speaking, if you keep doing what you are doing now (isolating yourself), you are going to keep feeling the same way. It’s all too easy to get sucked into a pattern of just doing the same stupid stuff all day, every day. Start breaking the pattern and do some different every day and it doesn’t matter what. Hopefully it will get you out of the house or gets you into a new hobby. Find free hobbies, ideally.
The point is you need to change something and you can only do that by doing something.
You can’t change your brain overnight. It takes time. For the time being, you are the only person that will likely be able to help you right now. If you want others to help you, you need to know people first. Staying in your room all day is not a good way to meet people.
Someone else suggested volunteering for something and helping others. There are tons of volunteer opportunities in many different places so that would be an excellent start. People are easier to meet because there is a thread of commonality in place, TBH.