• Lvxferre@mander.xyz
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    2 months ago
    Obligatory greentext story from 2013
    >2018 
    >wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing vidya 
    >excited to play some halo 2k19 
    >"xbox on"
    >...
    >"XBOX ON 
    >"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
    >"Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
    >"ERROR! Please drink a verification can "
    >reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest 
    >only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
    >still feeling sick from the 14 
    >force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot "
    >xbox does nothing 
    >i attempt to smile 
    >"Connecting to verification server"
    >...
    >"Verification complete! "
    >finally
    >boot up halo 2k19
    > finding multiplayer match. ..
    >"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"
    >my mother just walked in the room 
    >"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept? 
    >"NO!"
    >"Console entering lock state!"
    >"to unlock drink verification can"
    >last can
    >"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"
    >drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick 
    >pour the last half out the window 
    >"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE "
    >the mountain dew ad plays
    >i have to dance for it 
    >feeling so sick 
    >makes me sing along 
    >dancing and singing 
    >"mountain dew is for me and you"
    >throw up on my self 
    >throw up on my tv and entertainment system 
    >router shorts 
    >"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"
    >"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"
    

    EA: “Wow, what a visionary! This will give our players a sense of pride and accomplishment!”