Alright, you Android peasants, let’s get one thing straight: the iPhone is the smartphone, and everything else is just a sad imitation. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Android users. Enjoy your fragmented, malware-ridden, glitch-fest of an OS while the rest of us bask in the glory of Apple’s seamless ecosystem.

Face it, Android phones are the Walmart version of smartphones. Sure, you get your customizable widgets and “freedom,” but it’s like having freedom in a garbage dump. Have fun with your plastic, exploding batteries and cameras that take potato-quality photos. Meanwhile, iPhone users are out here with sleek designs, superior security, and a camera that doesn’t make us look like blurry blobs from a 90s camcorder.

And let’s not forget the software updates. While you’re waiting months (or forever) for the latest Android update, Apple’s got us covered with instant, worldwide updates. It’s almost cute how you guys pretend your tech is relevant. Almost.

So keep telling yourself that your Android is better because you can change your home screen’s color scheme or some other irrelevant nonsense. Deep down, we all know you’re just compensating for the fact that you can’t afford the real deal. iPhone supremacy, baby! 💅

  • Hildegarde@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    The title of this post is 100% accurate, the rest is not. You may think we don’t notice your receding hairline but its undeniable at this point.

  • bulwark@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    Green bubble pleb here. Everything you said is absolutely correct and indisputable. I can not even comprehend how much more advanced your phone is than mine, and I guess I’ll never know. Congratulations OP, you’re winning at life.

  • Limonene@lemmy.world
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    23 days ago

    Anyone got a good lead on a Replicant-capable phone? I’m currently running LineageOS on my phone, which is alright. But, of course, it has a bunch of proprietary firmware and I think proprietary drivers in it. I have a tablet that runs Replicant, and I love it, because it’s 100% free open source software. I chose not to add any proprietary firmware to my Replicant tablet’s image, so it doesn’t handle video that well, but it’s good enough for what I need.

    I’d love to get a new phone that could be as FOSS as possible. Either Replicant, or maybe a modified LineageOS, or perhaps something else if anyone has any good ideas!

    I have only a bit of experience with Android at the low level, but I know a little bit about adb and unlocking bootloaders and stuff.