This is why we never gave her a bat mitzvah.
Oh, but does she want 8 Hanukkah presents every year? You bet she does.
Clearly she inherited the multi-generation Indiana family food gene from her non-Jewish mother. Either that, or this is not my daughter. Should I go on Maury?
I’m not even going to try with the gefilte fish. I don’t need the tsouris.
And I’ll tell you one thing- she isn’t going looking for an afikomen come Passover.
Non-Jews: it’s probably best to just ignore my rant. Thank you.
EDIT: Hmm. Guess people here aren’t matzo fans either. Oh well.
Wait, do you actually like matzah?! I’m totally on your daughter’s side lol. It was always a groan in my household. Ugh, time for a week of cardboard sandwiches.
The only thing to look forward to was sweet matzah-brie: matzah soaked in water to soften it up, then soaked in eggs with cinnamon, sautéed, then covered with maple syrup or sugar. Basically matzah French toast.
Yeah, I wouldn’t bother making her try gefilte fish, unless you make it yourself in your bathtub!
Plain matzo? Not at all. Egg and onion? I could eat a whole box.
Also, that matzo-brie sounds amazing. When I was a kid, we used to eat it with “vegetarian chopped liver,” which was made from green beans, eggs, walnuts and some other stuff all chopped up in a food processor. I’ve never had actual chopped liver, so I don’t know how it compares, but I can taste it now. It was really good. And I don’t even like green beans or walnuts.
Edit: Found a recipe. It also has onions, forgot about that.
https://www.food.com/recipe/vegetarian-chopped-liver-green-beans-50320