So one time I was homeless during the winter and it was below zero while I was stuck outside. I stuffed my jacket full of newspaper and hid out in a breezeway, but I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through the night. It was really, really cold.

The first business that opened was a bagel shop, and it was still subzero when it did. I went in, sat down, and refused to leave. They threatened to call the cops, I told them to go ahead and threatened suicide so they’d PC me and bring me to the hospital. That happened. The ER gave me a warm bed for a few hours and fed me; probably saved my life, certainly my sanity.

I hope the last part of that story isn’t a complete fluke. Getting warm shouldn’t require a morbidly clever exploitation of the emergency medical system for the sake of survival. I certainly would have welcomed someone showing up hours earlier and offering me a warm bed.

Also the cop who kicked me out of the ATM I’d taken shelter in could have just, you know… not.