Omg. This is fucking awesome. I’ll tell you what, my child is 100% cool ;)
Mine too! He may not have the best grades, but he is cool, and kind, and just overall a really amazing person.
You have the ultimate bragging rights there. Who cares what someone acomplished if they’re a dick
“My kid just got a PhD”
“Yeah well my kid can do a real sick kick flip tho.”
“Dude no way that’s sick!”
My mom used to do this but with kindness. I may be a fuck up but I helped people without being asked and my mom was proud that that’s who I grew up to be
This is what I do with my son. He is truly kind to all people and animals, and I praise that all the time. Our world needs more kindness.
Yeah it was really good for my moral development to know my mom was proud I was kind. She always told me that that was what she wanted most for me, first to be a good kind person and second to be happy.
She also made a point to tell me the compliments she received about me.
As a kid who grew up weird and closeted and struggling with school because of disability it was so important to know that my mom was proud of me. Especially since my father made no effort to hide that he was disappointed I didn’t have any achievements he could brag about compared to his friends’ kids.
And the thing is kindness has done wonders for me. I’ll never be rich or famous, but I’m happily married and have found a good community. I’d rather that than be some of the assholes I grew up around.
Are they happy? I think this should be the measure of success for a parent to worry about. Encouraging them to reach goals can absolutely be a part of happiness but I’ve had friends who spiraled down the drain because their parents pushed them so hard to make tangible achievements and completely neglected their actual happiness
You’re absolutely right, but I think the dad’s reply wasn’t focused on the kids’ states per se and more on his perception of whatever they are. He loves his kids and wants to be around them because they are nice/good people, which he casually summarizes as “cool”. I read it like his perspective, not theirs.
It may be my age showing but I interpreted this as “do they smoke weed?”
glancing over my shoulder while clutching a baggy under my jacket
“Yeah, that’s great but are they going to narc?”
Hmm, I don’t know. Seems like the perfect instrument to make “nerdy” kids feel even more insecure. Having very good grades is something you absolutely can and should be proud of. This does not automatically mean that your children, if they do not have good grades, are less valuable or “good” per se. But I think that the reasoning employed in the screenshot makes it very easy to say “Yes, your child’s grades are good, but my kid is way cooler”, belittling an entire and very respectable achievement of the other person.
I don’t think it’s “cool” the way like…90s teen movies meant cool. I think it’s more like, “are they a kind person who is enjoyable to be around?” You can have other achievements that look good on paper and be cool. You can be an awkward dork and still be cool in that sense. Unfortunately, some parents prize the resume over raising a decent human being, and some kids end up being assholes, which is not cool at all.
As an incredibly and habitually nerdy kid none of my nerd shit had been an obstacle to my parents thinking I’m rad. I taught and ran my Mom through a D&D campaign over Covid…
Also I don’t think a parent who adopts the 'Is your kid cool" mentality is looking to make it another vector to disparage kids but to open adults minds to actually appreciating their kids as people not just little self congratulatory vicarious vindication of success. My parents are not fans of my Brother-in-Law’s family because they refuse to look at their son and my sibling as success on any other metric than acedemic or career related successes. They look at their careers in slightly lower paid but fulfilling careers doing things they feel make the world a better place makes them “the dumbest smart people we know”… The fact their son is just fucking awesome in his own merits just never enters their heads (and makes my Mom mad enough to bite through steel.)
Having parents who are cool is a blessing.
Good point. Good personality is trait as is academic success.
I think the key message the dad was saying wasn’t so much that his kids are cool but that he thinks they are awesome and that he likes to hang out with them because they have an amazing personality. “Cool” was just a term to make it sound less tacky
Goddam right they are cool - precisely because they are smart, talented, and engaged in the world around them. Why would I have raised them to be less than that?
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Hah, sounds like the kind of person that votes for president based on whether or not they want to have a beer with them instead of their platform or accomplishments or experience
Dad of the year, right here 👆
