Reading that, seems you were fortunately not traveling too fast, as I can imagine traveling along, the sudden stop, falling over face first into the packed snow and just sort of enacting an image of your one foot being propped like a hand trying to pull excalibur from the snow.

I understand that

It was years between the robbery ( headed back home after spending time with my then girlfriend) and the attempted assault ( work decided to have me work around that area) and I would always be uneasy but trying not to look like a too easy a mark again while thinking of “what if” scenarios as it feels like one’s intution is on a fine tuned edge being alert for anything that seems suspicious.

I guess it could be described as practical fear

After the attack, I was insistent and since then do my utmost to keep as far away from that area as possible.

I will admit, I also felt apprehension like how you might have felt like when I started posting details

I was paranoid as I was robbed in that area before to which I froze, but the police were around then and arrested one of the suspects.

The paranoia part comes from thinking that they might have wanted revenge as I ID’d and provided a statement that allowed it to be prosecuted ( got a call from a prosecutor) for the robbery.

So the immediate thought was if it was payback, as they said nothing through the whole ordeal, but realistically, if it was they would have not run away so quickly or took advantage of my poor positioning.

The most rationale thinking in hindsight is that it was a bunch of meth-heads were looking for quick score and by me escalating they decided for a quick and dirty robbery instead.

That area where I used to work is dangerous and I know I got really lucky considering considering the type of incidents that do happen there

Reminds me of what a friend told with his grandfather when he was cutting wood for a carpentry project with a handheld wood saw, it slipped out of his hand and, I guess on instinct, tried to grabbed before it fell, if I recall he got some nasty lacerations from catching it on the blade before switching it off.

So I can only imagine what it might feel working with something that cuts before you can even register the damage. That was a close call, especially with the momentum of your movement could have done some irreparable damage to your hand.

Also lucky that that the impact of the fall didn’t cause any other damage to your legs as it took the impact like a champ from the momentum of the flip and sudden stop if I am assuming it was something like a 1-story distance from the deck to the ground?

Thank you for the clarity

And that must have been an experience to say the least, feeling the “edge of death” with every foot step

That is scary to think of having no control for who knows how long and when coming to a stop and realise that you missed the worst part of it at the end.

Thinking on it, must have been an experience - knowing something worked just enough to remind one of how much it protected them.

I am not knowledgeable about the ballistic resistance of a helmet, but to me that seems like a quality helmet to be able to stop a bullet in its tracks - especially if it was a caliber higher than a pistol, I make the assumption.

That is like the opposite of something out of Final Destination

Thank you to everyone that left a comment, it has been helpful to snap me out of the negative spiral somewhat.

Again, something that I noticed is that my, not sure, brain I guess responds stronger to the perception of empathy rather than sympathy or at least it feels that way when I think on how I read what has been written. It might get warped with people I know over time as I sink into a negative mindspace.

But I do think I subconsciously attempt to try “feel” what is been written or seen and base an interpretation from that - mixed with a profile that I probably apply a bias to.

So thinking on that I probably felt frustrated at the friend when their writing had the appearance of not understanding what I am feeling and felt ever more dispondent when I tried to get them to understand what I am feeling which probably lead to throwing more and more negative emotion in an attempt to have it be acknowledged.

Probably it was an attempt to grasp at trying to not be alone, which I admit is probably not helpful to someone else, especially if they do not wish to “feel” that emotion.

It is like an emotional mismatch I guess, where one shouts " this is the solutions that I found that helped" and the other shouts “this is a problem and I want support”. It probably ends up feeling that either side is not listening to the other as both parties are looking at an issue from a different lens.