SineNomen

I literally dommed a girl while wearing Crocs. At first she laughed. But by the end she was wearing them for comfort.

My wife flashing me when we’re alone for a moment.

Get a kinky hobby and then join your local community. For me it was bondage. Go to meetings, get to know people (emphasis on people). When you pass the vibe check you should get invited to parties. During all this you should be able to get to know enough people who are DTF.

I have had more relationships after my marriage than before.

We kind of slipped into it. We always maintained an open relationship in terms of communication. With the arrival of our children we found it harder to pursue our kinkier side with each other so we decided to try it with other people.

My wife was first. She signed up with BDSM communities, went on dates and went to munches. Eventually I decided I wanted to try that as well. As my first test I signed up to the same site and messaged her without revealing myself. I convinced her to try a date with me with only one simple message. Rizzing the person you love feels good.

Anyways, going on dates with the knowledge and consent of your partner makes it so much easier than having to conceal them and making up lies. No idea how people do this.

Relationships we formed were similar to other relationships. Some worked, some didn’t. Most ended amicably, some didn’t. Of course we sought out people who seemed to be ok with the arrangement.

The pandemic mostly put an end to that and by now life doesn’t leave us enough time or energy to go on. But we do not regret that time. Still keep lose contact with the people we met. Our own relationship is stronger than ever. And we’ll see what the future holds.

Also, if you’re really lucky you might discover that your fantasy isn’t actually that exciting in real life.

Or maybe it’s really a normal healthy kink that you could be exploring further.

I’d advise you to go to Fetlife, look for munches near you, go there and get the vibe of the people. Go several times because vibes can change from week to week.

You should be able to learn there that the people there aren’t freaks but normal people. That what you’re feeling is normal and that you’re not the only one. And most importantly that you’re not an ugly loser but also a normal person.

Don’t go there with the expectation of finding a sexual partner. These are supposed to be safe spaces where one can go to exchange feelings and knowledge. Also don’t go there with the expectation that everyone will be talking about sex and BDSM and fetishes all the time. Often enough they talk about all kinds of things.

If you’re lucky your munch has some kind of way of onboarding new people. The organisers are the right people to talk to. They are usually very nice and not judgemental.

By the way, the BDSM porn from kink.com is usually prefaced with an interview where the actors discuss bounderies, limits, safewords, turn ons, etc. And at the end they debrief on the scene. Other sites seem to copy that format as well. It’s very nice. And with their behind-the-scenes site behindkink.com you can get even more insights, like a supercut of this big angry fearsome dom guy checking in with the sub after every cut to see if she’s really doing ok.

It’s only sad that you seldome get to see those interviews on the free sites that are basically just ads for the paid sites.

It’s really not offputting but rather a great insight into the actors and their chemistry and sets the mood. @guy@pixelfed.social

@pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone

That’s what https is supposed to be for. Ok, they might see the IP, but that can be shared.

Not me, but I know a bondage instructor who pronounces “bondage” like you would in French.

I think if you’re teaching something you should know the pronunciations. Didn’t take long to find other stuff wrong with him. My wife and I quickly left and sought our education elsewhere.