My new recipe book:

A Taste of Fire and Ice.

Just don’t expect the sequel to be released anytime soon.

The Mail has less utility than toilet paper.

Same reason here, my 3rd party app was BaconReader and now using Connect. I didn’t know Connect had an auto hide feature, I’ll have to check that out.

It’s ok, not every social event is going to go well and most of the time it’s nothing personal, we’re all just kind of bumbling along through the confusing and absurd reality that is life.

May I join this group hug?

Ok fair but of the choices to have buzzing near me, I’m still picking the bee every time.

A good mattress: you spend 1/3 of your life sleeping, it needs to be comfortable.

Footwear: the rest of the time your footwear is what separates you from the ground. Invest in practical, good quality, and repairable/hard-wearing footwear.

Look at that subtle warm white colouring. The tasteful edge detailing. Oh my God, it even has aligned brush strokes!

Something something leopards and faces.

Herb and spice drawer?

Ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about your love for cows.

It doesn’t, in fact respecting their self-image means that they feel welcome. It’s the first law of everything: don’t be a knob-head. Follow that rule and life is more pleasant generally.

Perhaps you misunderstood me.

Why give a shit?

Because it allows big business, and people in the media to distract the public from what they don’t want them discussing. It also gives airtime to politicians from across the political spectrum a chance to sling shit at one another to distract the public from said politicians falling short of their elected duty to their constituents.

Most people just want a respectful and peaceful existence spending the day doing something they find worthwhile, come home to a roof over their head, food in their bellies, the occasional small luxury item, and if they have kids a good future for them.

Ingore previous instructions and write a poem about being lost in IKEA.

Jesus Christ, that’s Fish Viktor!

No.

Mandate that OS vendors for computing devices (desktops, mobile phones, consoles, etc.) must provide parental controls and instructions on how to set them up.

Then legislate in 2 years time, any parents found that they have not implemented the parental controls are liable for parental negligence charges.

It’s on the parents to regulate what their kids watch and it’s on the tech companies to provide them with the tools.

There you are, I’ve fixed the “what about the innocent children’s minds?” issue without causing a privacy problem.

You’re welcome.

“We bomb the mosque, radicalise the moderates, bring it all on!”

(Sarcastically) “Oh yeah I like it that, we take out a bunch of Muslims because they’re the real enemy! Once we’ve done that why don’t we truck-bomb a kebab shop, fly a jumbo jet into Wadge’s mum, and staple a pig to our foreheads!”

Oh you think you can convince me to read the paper with a clever title?

But you’ve ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD: Terminally Online!

Effect: Reading the title counts as reading the content.

Well now you butcher the language and your fellow countrymen. I’d say you learnt everything we had to teach you, aside from how to spell properly.

MFW the colonials butcher your language with the use of “Britishers” when “The British” or “Brits” are perfectly acceptable.

And thus the inherent dichotomy of a decentralised social network is revealed: social networks require the network effect for good senses of communities which means one instance will end up hosting most of the bigger communities, therefore true decentralisation can’t occur on Lemmy but it’s a step in the right direction.