My father was a great anti-role model.

I tried my hardest to not be like him and his shittiness.

bingo. they require attention and effort and you might get something out of them…

social media… is designed to require neither… just like reality tv or candy crush… which are junk.

and same with food. a good meal requires attention and effort to make… cup o noodles requires almost none, but has very little nutritional value beyond hitting your salt and fat receptors.

pretty much.

people who have it seem to be convinced everyone else has it. it’s a cognitive bias. just like white folks think racism isn’t real because they don’t experience it.

instances are just distinct servers really.

and some of them are purpose/politics specific.

there is also more diverse content than the crap that was on here six months ago.

when 50% of the frontpage is linux memes… you’re not going to gain the interest of most new users. now it seems to be down to about 20%

same.

amen. i feel like there used to be a barrier. now people get up in my face for drinking a diet coke, because it’s a ‘political act’ because trump drinks diet coke, so therefore i must support trump.

It’s insanity.

same. you could disagree and joke about it. now it’s all demonization, labels, etc.

i feel like you could share an experience/thought and get interesting responses… now it’s just people trying to pigeonhole you and decide if you are ‘on their side’ or not. you could make a joke about a bad date and people would be like ‘haha same’ now it’s ‘why do you hate x’, ‘clearly you are mentally ill’, ‘you are clearly evil’. very little discussion… just judgement and hate.

Am seriously considering founding a not-for-profit to provide an ad free / spam free / bot free basic community. Would cost a dollar or two a month. Chief differences to the lemmy would be one account per person via proof of identity signup (I think this would improve behaviour and discourage spam), a single authority to tackle voting abuse and other things useful to be not federated.

yeah lemmy definite feels like that. full of crazies who won’t relent until you tell them they are right and you are wrong and you are horrible evil person for disagreeing with them over something like bicycle lanes.

but there are some middle ground folks, thankfully.

exactly. stats back this up. internet was far more diverse 10 years ago, now vast majority of traffic goes to a handful of platforms.

it’s not an argument. it’s a belief

women = good, men = bad.

it’s a cultural bias called ‘women are wonderful’ effect. we are culturally biased to think men are bad and women are good.

we trust women with it

what’s far scarier is the revisionist history being pushed in many states and school districts.

yeah. extremism seems to be the norm here. and you will be harassed and insulted and told your a POS if you even mildly disagree with the extremist narrative. most of the content seems to be angry leftism idealism that reads ‘young idealist’ who thinks ideological purity is the solution to problems and is incapable of acknowledging a complex and pragmatic approach to any issue at all. and generally people who are totally detached from the average person’s perspective/experience, as per your windows comment.

it’s just people being people. people don’t like anyone who disagrees with them. it hurts their feelings. so they act out.

i will say at least the mods don’t ban you for disagreement or injecting a dose of reality into a simplistic ideological narrative about the world… which is why i gave up on reddit.

Hinge.

But it’s rapidly turning to shit year by year. It was much better 5 years ago. Now it’s rapidly becoming like Tinder, full of bots.

yeah, but what if the music i listen to isn’t ‘with it’? what will the kids thing of me? as an old?

I don’t ask women questions on dating apps because they never ask me any.

It’s that simple. Women who engage me… I am glad to chat with. I’m not going to have one-sided conversations with people who have no interest in me.

Just like I had a woman last year match with me on an app, who went ‘hey we had a date a few years ago, i had such a good time, why didn’t you ever follow up and ask me out again?’

and I said ‘I did, you never replied.’

and then she blocks me. lol

lots and lots of people on these apps are totally delusional and their entire strategy is to make up fictional victimhood in their own minds… because nobody is reading their mind and not ‘trying harder’ as they actively reject men. the ‘phenomenon’ is mostly a fiction they make up in their own minds to take any responsibility in the dating process off of themselves, and put it 100% on the man.

the irony I find among couples I know… the woman in the relationship is almost always this straightforward open person who just tells her partner how she feels… instead of playing games and making up delusional situations in which she is the victim of her partner… being a normal well-adjusted person… which is the same type of crazy nonsense you see on ‘wife tiktok’ videos…

men are mostly picked on looks.

women swipe right 5% of the time, compared to like 50% for men.

Men don’t care that much about looks, beyond a basic threshold of average or above. And that’s true for me personally, as much as it is statistically. The thing is most women think 95% of men are ‘below average’.

No the issue is you know nothing about the other person, but make a lot of crappy assumptions based on the profile, and get butthurt when those assumptions don’t come true.

doesn’t even have to be a ‘wrong’ question. it can be an innocuous one.

i went out with an English teacher two weeks ago, from an app. We were chatting about books. She asked me what I was reading and I her, and she went OFF on me that i’m not reading female black authors and started mocking and deriding my interest because hers were ‘superior’ and I was clearly a ‘sexist’ since I only had one white female author on my list of recently read things.

least to say the date was dead at that point. I wasn’t going to ask her any more questions and be lectured/told off more. I finished my drink and left.

I’ve had so many interacts like this… say one ‘wrong’ thing, and the other person LEAPS down your throat about how awful and evil you are and how great they are. It’s insanity.