Saying “you’re addicted to screens” in 2025 is like saying “you’re addicted to roads” or “you should wean yourself off of your dependence on electricity” a hundred years ago 🙄

Yeah, except this one is actually much WORSE than Blatter, as impossible as that may seem!

Tbf though, they’ve already been insulted by having that name in the first place 🤷

The Mango Mussolini and stolen valor: name a more iconic duo

First I imagine the secret service would want to review the device wasn’t bugged being in the oval office

Come to think of it, I wouldn’t rule it out that it IS bugged and Trump forbade the USSS from checking like he did with the unsecure phone he insisted on using for tweeting through most of his first infestation of the place 😮‍💨

That and Infantino is pretty much the Swiss Trump.

He makes his predecessor Sepp Blatter (who was so corrupt that FIFA very publicly banned him from all football activities for 8 years, quietly reduced it by two years, and then added a further six years when they discovered even MORE corruption) look like Keanu Reeves!

Both of them (Trump and Infantino) are. In fact, they’re basically the same repulsive person in two bodies.

Infantino and Trump are made to be BFFs. Not only is Infantino’s name on the trophy TWICE (which is almost three times too many), but he also insisted on THIS bullshit:

Dude! How gullible are the people of The Texas Newsroom that they’d give Greg Abbott money in advance knowing that the final arbiter of the question is Ken “not in jail for a long time on fraud charges because the prosecutor was his employee and worried about getting fired” fucking Paxton??

Not saying that they had it coming or anything, but DAMN! Those dudes are untrustworthy by REPUBLICAN standards!

as long as you complete the mission in a timely manner im chill.

What a fucking taskmaster! What’s next, we aren’t allowed to practice headshots on our teammates during missions?! Let us LIVE, man! 😛

At this point these ceasefire negotiations feel more like hasbara than actual attempts to stop the killing.

🧑‍🚀🔫🧑‍🚀

Yeah, MUCH more likely IMO 😄

Glitter Box sounds like a collaboration between Portishead and Mariah Carey 🤔

Breaking Bad might not have been his first acquaintance with meth or similar substances 😄

Replied the Mango Mussolini, “how DARE you describe me in such a factually accurate manner?!”

Except expressed with all the eloquence, self-awareness, and general emotional maturity of a two year old, of course.

Or real phone

When I was growing up, this was all fields… gestures towards ocean

The usual: buffoonish attempts at distraction.