The demographics you describe in 1 and 2 are de facto an incredibly small minority compared to other, more typical forms of immigration. Just think about what percentage of the population is wealthy enough to emigrate, let alone engage in borderline sex trafficking.

As for #3, yes, we have a party who is currently succeeding in pitching populism and proto-fascism dressed up in culture war nonsense. The job of progressives is to address those same economic concerns in a manner that actually works rather than the trickle down myth from the right that has so thoroughly gutted the middle class.

There’s no reason this has to be binary. You don’t have to choose between her being a makeovers and mimosas pal and being an enemy or a stranger. There’s a lot of space between those poles, and there’s no reason that you have to choose a static point on that continuum and stick with it forever.

Right now, you’re hurting and reestablishing boundaries and your sense of self. If she’s the friend she says she wants to be, she will respect that and give you space. After you’ve had some time to heal, maybe you can be more friendly, but for now she should accept your need to insulate a bit.

For me, the primary, immediate goals would be to a) heal and b) avoid making things worse for the kids.