I got nothing recent, but here are a few from the past.
I was once reading a magazine and tried to pinch-zoom a photo. I tried multiple times before I understood the depths of my stupidity.
I once took my new car into the dealer about a month after I got it for warranty work because the washer fluid wasn’t working anymore. This was after I looked it over and couldn’t find the cause, so I assumed it was a body control module or maybe the stalk was bad. I was pushing the stalk forward instead of pulling it backwards. The tech, service writer, and myself had a good laugh about how I had forgotten how to use the damn thing. There is a freaking icon with “pull” on the stalk. I had been using it just fine and then caught the stupid one day.
I once remarked that they should invent vizine, but for your mouth while I had cottonmouth. Before anyone steals my idea, water was invented over 12 billion years ago.
I tried to take photos of hallucinations to show others. Yes, photos, plural.
Before you worry, I am dedicated child-free.
I tried taking a new route through a familiar building. Automatic actions took over and led me back to the entrance I came from.
Spent weeks without pepper because I thought the grinder thing wasn’t working. Turns out I hadn’t screwed off the cap and removed the foil. I was just about to give up and buy a new pepper grinder.
I have pepper again.
While trying to mount a speaker:
Where’s my drill bit?
Where’s the mount?
Where’s my pencil?
Where’s my level?
Where’s the mount?
WHERE ARE THE SCISSORS?
I JUST HAD MY FUCKING DRILL BIT!
GOD DAMNIT, JUST LET ME MOUNT THIS THING, WHERE IS MY PENCIL?
Every time I try to do anything. I’m probably undiagnosed ADHD, tbh.
I’m a programmer, so this is pretty much a constant thing haha. Sometimes you write the smartest shit imaginable, and sometimes you waste 4 hours on something extremely simple.
Asked my dad’s permission to go see the eclipse next month
I’m almost 30
What if he said no?
Looking at my phone, I verbally asked myself, “Where’s my phone??”
I was laid off this year. I’m a 25 year veteran programmer, and not to brag in the sea of tech folks we have here, but I am rather proud of my skills I have picked up over the years.
My first interview this year, they set up an online development environment and had me solve a fairly simple array sort problem, and I completely choked. Something about being watched and judged while I worked broke my brain.
I managed to ace my next interview, but they didn’t bother with the programming exercise at all.
My job involves opening boxes, getting serial numbers from the contents, and resealing the boxes. I have repeatedly done the last two steps in the opposite order.
I believe that is called ADHD.
Added an extra shelf to my shoe rack today. After measuring, cutting, drilling, even made little notches below the shelf, barely putting the shelf in because of hinges in the way, vacuuming the mess, halfway packing up my tools and call it a successful day and… doors won’t close because of the hinges on the doors hitting the shelf. Moved it 5mm lower after drilling another set of holes.
