Every time I go outside to my yard, my elderly neighbor comes out and tries to talk with me. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. I go out to relax and do gardening and yard work, and his presence makes me increasingly anxious & leaves me feeling particularly uncomfortable/unsafe.
He is dealing with dementia, and has become increasingly vulgar and outspoken, and even made some vastly inappropriate remarks about his wife & my other neighbor while my child was right there.
His wife is tired. I know this. Christ, I would be, too. He was kind of insufferable even before the dementia got bad (think him talking about his shitty political views), but, god… I am so tired of babysitting him while I try to unwind in my own yard. He’ll talk over the fence or simply waltz past it and follow me around while I try to do stuff or as I’m trying to talk to my kid.
One thing I know is this: do not piss off your neighbors, because, chances are, you will probably be living next to them for a looooong time.
What can I do? I just want peace without feeling like I’m being accosted.
Not a lot to do with dementia aside from talking with their caretakers. My FIL got on this kick that I stole his $5 Walmart sunglasses and it became pretty aggressive for a while. It kind of cycled for a while between him forgetting he was mad at me and ruining a weekly family dinner with accusations. I didnt hold it against him, its a shitty disease and hes not the man I’ve known for the past 15 years.
Dementia sucks. Try being direct, but politely, and tell him that you can’t talk right now and hopefully they understand. Or realize when they get to this point they have about 12 months left in the tank.
It’s so tough, isn’t it? I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through.
Thank you for your advice. I hope you’ve been able to find peace through it all.