I wouldn’t be too worried about a bear, unless it were a momma bear and the cub was anywhere near me. You just leave while facing it or do step 2 of getting a bearskin rug.

A woman in the woods is terrifying. A lone woman, not hiking, not taking photos, not being a Disney princess with the fauna gathering about her in some sort of whimsical aura, just a woman in the middle of the woods and entirely out of context; terrifying. That is the little girl with mathematics books in a city at night full of aliens.

Have I unknowingly intruded upon her witchy domain with no opportunity for recompense and live? Is she a skinwalker? Is she an alien masquerading as a human female for the purposes of luring foolish men to abduct? Is she a demon harvesting souls for some unholy purpose? Does she want to take half my stuff and a quarter of my income for decades? Does she want to have my children? Does she want to put basic bitch letter signs in every room so I know what to do or what room I am in if I were to forget?

Meeting a lone woman in the woods is terrifying.

The best case scenario for the bear option is you both avoid each other and move on. The absolute best case scenario for the woman option is she’s really the only one out there and is violent enough to survive on her own.

Bear all day every day.

As a man I mean. I mean the bear might eat you. But either ways, it’s not gonna be a drawn out affair. What about you lice?