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Cake day: January 30th, 2025

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  • I heard this parable for the first time in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, believe it or not.

    It was during Fast Forward, one of the less popular later seasons of the 2003 show. They get blown a hundred years into the future, and have to fight the evil clones that their nemesis-of-the-season keeps throwing at them (it’s superhero sci-fi, just go with it).

    Leonardo’s clone–who, much like Frankenstein’s monster, never got a real canon name–was captured and the guys tried to take the chance to show him more mercy than he’d shown them. Leo believes that since the clone is, essentially, mostly him, he is capable of change. He delivers the parable, and then asks, ‘Are you a scorpion? Or a turtle?’ Then, like an absolute madlad, deliberately gives him a chance to betray them as a test of his ability to grow. He fails… mostly. There’s a bit at the end that gives it some ambiguity, leaves the question open-ended.

    Honestly, one of my all-time favorite moments in turtles, bar none. It’s rare to see such deep questions about nature and nurture asked and explored in a kid’s cartoon.






  • Don’t get me wrong, he did plenty of divisive things. Pioneering the idea that the president can just call in a drone strike without the approval of Congress if he can get a quick kill in, for example.

    But that’s just an ‘improvement’ on the same shit that every US Prez has done since the Gulf of Tonkin. Literally every single one has authorized the use of extrajudicial authority to silence their critics or exercised military clout without approval. The War Powers Act of 1973 functionally gave away the most important power the representatives had. They’ve just invented a casus belli and gone to town, every god damn time.

    Obama wasn’t divisive, not by comparison. He was an improvement. At the very least he acted like there was some kind of civilized intent behind the enormous war machine he was driving. Recently, we just haven’t had the luxury of a President that is polite enough to let us ignore how brutal this hellhole really is.