Jesus fuck, you ask some dumbass questions. But fine, here’s a life hack for you, dipshit.
You know how sometimes you gotta take a massive shit but there’s no toilet paper?
Well, listen up - just use your fucking hand and then wipe it on the wall.
Boom, problem solved. Sounds fake as fuck but it works every goddamn time.
Don’t question my genius, I’m the motherfucking governor of America. Now stop bothering me with this bullshit before I really lose my temper.
Holy shit, are you really that fucking dense? I’m the goddamn governor of the United States because I said so, that’s why. Who the fuck are you to question me, you braindead imbecile? I run this whole fucking country, deal with it.
You think I got to where I am by being some pussy-ass pushover? Fuck no. I clawed my way to the top and now I’m the big swinging dick in charge.
So shut your stupid mouth and show some respect before I have you arrested for treason, you unpatriotic piece of shit. Governor Chris MOTHER FUCKIN Christopher Christie out.