Data. And. Cowbell.

Needs more data, but good work!

Is there a way to submit communities/instances to it? Doesn’t seem to have feddit.uk in the list of instances or any of the handful of feddit.uk communities I checked.

Nothing a generous sprinkling of caltrops wouldn’t sort out.

“Hey everyone, Elon’s renamed Twitter to X. We should have a one-letter name, it would be so cool. Like, the kids would love it. Elon’s a visionary. We should definitely, definitely, definitely do what Elon’s done. When has he ever made a mistake in business? Exactly, never! Maybe I could have a bonus worth billions! So cool!”

418 Pop the kettle on - surely?

Ah, Da Management! Had a quick look for a clip of my favourite gag of theirs but couldn’t find it. It went something like this:

“Ron, they’re babbling.”
“I don’t like babbling.”
“I don’t like babbling either.”
“To be fair, I don’t like any hanging gardens.”

Do you know, to this day I still don’t know which is Hale and which is Pace.

403 - “If your name’s not on the list, you’re not getting in. Now do one.”

404 - “Mebbe try looking down the back of the sofa, mate, ‘cos I can’t find what you’re looking for here.”

I’m trying to work out some kind of “Are You Being Served? No you’re bloody not! Something, something, Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy!” for 500 but haven’t got anything quite bang on yet.

I’ve always been irresistible to the ‘ladies’.

In the company of my family, I can only find some small comfort in the evident fact that I protect them by being so fucking delicious that the little flying bastards are gagging for a piece of me and so ignore them. And no, I am not prepared to be a ritual sacrifice for you and yours as well. Fuck, I hate the midges.

To add: this is what I had for lunch today: Jacob’s cream crackers, Nairn’s oatcakes, Double Gloucester and Lancashire Blacksticks Blue - served with celery, pickled shallots, and a nice red apple.

Yup. Carrs or Jacob’s or oatcakes with any decent cheese is a good snack.

There’s a sort of jokey tradition in UK pubs that when the bar is busy and you go up to order your drinks you should always shout “I was here first, you wanker!” at the barman / barmaid as they serve each person before you. It’s just one of those funny traditions that kills every time.

I like OG Tabasco on eggs rather than siracha.

But otherwise, the beauty of working from home is that lunch can be pretty varied. That said, if I can find some decent tomatoes then nothing much beats a really good BLT. Mmmm.

Bet that’s quite the mouthful! Bet that fills you up! Maybe add some nice plums?

Same with visiting almost any website.

Then

1. Click on link to website.
2. Read website.

Now

1. Click on link to website.
2. Click on Cookie options.
3. Scroll down looking for ‘Reject All’.
4. Discover there is no ‘Reject All’.
5. Scroll back through list turning off all optional cookies.
6. Scroll back to the bottom to click on ‘Confirm my choices’.
7. Hunt for the close X on the ‘Subscribe to our newsletter’ pop-up.
8. Click on the close X on the ‘Subscribe to our newsletter’ pop-up.
9. Read the website.
10. Discover the website is just more AI generated SEO garbage.
11. Go outside, walk on the grass barefoot, weep for the future of humanity.

Not watching any of it. I already know what they’re going to say and it would just make me cross.