Yeah, a couple family members converted a few decades ago and the Mormons sent us all a request to list all our ancestors so they could retroactively ‘save’ them. Most of my family being Lutheran, that didn’t go over well lol.

My grandpa, my uncle, and a few other family pranksters got together and gave them the most outrageous list they could come up with. I had a Mormon kid as a friend when I was young, and some days I wonder if they looked me up, and actually believed I was related to the King of Sweden.

Okay, but, speaking as a woman, we try to explain these issues nicely, with gentle terminology and a big helping of ‘not all of you, but some of you…’ and we get ignored, dismissed, belittled, or flat-out gaslit.

So, we try going for the shock value to get you to at least pay attention instead of dismissing what we say as background noise or ‘us silly little women worrying our silly little heads over nothing’. And then we get told we can’t talk like that, that it’s insulting, that no man would listen because we’re belittling them, that it ‘doesn’t foster discussion’.

Although at least you heard us say something so many of us take it as a small win…

So, honest question. How do we explain it to you, so we don’t offend you, but you actually hear us? Actually get an idea of what it means to be afraid of footsteps behind us when we go out at night? To get leered at when all we’re trying to do is get a good workout at the gym? To have men just take liberties, like touching us, grabbing us? To not want to mention that we are a woman online, especially in gaming circles, because of the sexist bullshit and dismissive attitudes that will inevitably show up and run us out of a group we just want to be in because we like the game, damnit?

To weigh the decision to even make a post like this, because I know it will be brigaded and will attract sexist jerks who will try to shout me down? Or even attract stalkers who will follow me across instances to harass me?

Please, tell me how. Because we want you to understand. We don’t want to chase people away from discussions. But it’s so hard, and gets so discouraging…

‘Most ignorance is willful’

According to the CDC, as of 2010 nearly one in five women in the US has been raped. And 1 in 6 have been stalked.

That’s one heck of a loud minority, just saying.

Well, if we’re being pedantic you could check to see how many of those homicides were being committed by men vs women…

But also, it’s isn’t just murder that makes women fear men. It’s harassment. It’s rape.

When I was maybe 6 years old, I stepped on a ground wasp nest. For most of the rest of my childhood I had an intense phobia of flying bugs as a result. All flying bugs were out to get me, and any stinging insects were going to sting me for sure, never mind if they were halfway across the yard. The slightest sound of insect wings nearby was enough to send me into a panic.

Then, one day, I was outside and nearly bumped into a wasp I didn’t see. I yelped and jumped back—and the wasp jumped back too, like it was just as surprised and scared as I was, then flew away from me as fast as it could.

And I suddenly realized that maybe they were just as afraid of me as I was of them.

I won’t say my phobia disappeared overnight, but from that day forward it faded pretty quickly. Now I can be right next to bees and wasps and be fine with it.

What’s weird is I’d been told the whole ‘they’re more afraid of you than you are of them’ business before, but somehow seeing it like that made that statement real.

I have a 23-year-old ball python. I can confidently say he has not grown throughout his entire life, and has in fact for the last almost two decades stayed at a comfortable 3.5’ long.

Well, you could always wear a gas mask while you prune it…

Bunnies! I need me some bunny seeds