Last kiss, covered by Pearl Jam

To be fair, 99.999% of virgins don’t have kids, so that’s just true to brand

Neoliberal hubris

The team found a password file left from a previous employee on an open, administrative IT share, which contained plaintext usernames and passwords for several privileged service accounts

That’s not going to be a fun meeting.

That’s not the issue…

I watch way more porn than any boyfriend I’ve ever had and more than my husband and have zero profit motive.

Therefore I will not elaborate.

There’s a Pax Romana/olive branch joke in there somewhere

As discovered from [4], she will not continue to love me if I do not share an equal love for the workplace based drama.

My favorite line

Is there more? I kind of want to know more

Incredible username

I study the extremely soft science of grammar…

It wasn’t exactly unexpected, but I didn’t expect it, if that makes sense. I was working at the call center of an insurance company on election night in 2016, and my team was half people from Connecticut in office and half remote people from non-Chicagoland Illinois, politically divided exactly as you’d expect. My shift went 13-23:30 EST, and the team chat was trying to be somewhat non political, but it was tough.

When I went into work, it seemed like Hillary would win, but throughout our shift, my coworkers and I kept getting chirps about new states being counted while the office slowly emptied (most people in office were on core hours, so by 19, we were the only ones left, including cleaning crews). When the first firm-ish numbers came in, one of our remote team members just spammed the chat with a bunch of terrible r/thedonald memes and there was an audible groan from the group.

I didn’t like Clinton, but I was certain she’d win, because I was pretty sheltered in a New England state. Hearing that trump won felt like finding out your foundation is full of mold. I don’t know how else to describe it, except that I was certain we’d choose the “chicken that’ll do” (I know that was a spoof from the democratic debate, but it feels on brand for her whole deal).

I’m sorry, there are too many nature words here for me to follow. I’m picturing an insect that lives off of cacao pods and apples

Okay, fuck that, but hear me out: it’s a good sports drink. Drinking a shot of pickle juice for every couple of water bottles on a day where you’re pouring sweat keeps you hydrated better than Gatorade (also good while drinking, and the sour and saltiness mixes well with tequila). There’s no reason to pay a premium for it instead of just skimming some from pickles you already have though.

We’re doing all sorts of things to get better at it 😊

Also, you have to know what a better way to handle a situation is. If someone’s the type of person who hits a kid for misbehavior, maybe they don’t know how to do better.

My husband and I are in our mid thirties, and are actively holding off on kids until we feel like we’ve gotten better at managing our emotions. Our parents had kids much earlier, and ended up exercising their emotional dysfunction on small children

I thought people were dying from infected milk? Is that not H5N2?

That’s because it’s ultra purple when it’s light

He’s… made out of meat?

One of them seems to be the size of a medium sized dog, at least

I mean, she posts to a blog called “vain asylum,” so she’s at least self aware.