Nuclear war would be absolutely apocalyptic. Lookup the US policy on “Launch on Warning” and “Hair-trigger alert”. Russia has the same thing and China by this point probably does, too. If the US were targeted those doctrines would come into effect and we’d go into “escalate to de-escalate” mode. And that’d make it worse.
There would be multiple thousands of warheads launched around the globe. EMPs would be detonated in the atmosphere, continent-wide power grids would fail. A single Ohio-class nuclear submarine has more destructive power than every bomb, including the two nukes, dropped in WWII — and they’d light the place up. And then you have all the various contamination in the air, soil, and water that would be cycled through the ecosystem for hundreds and thousands of years.
Pockets of people would live, certainly, but it’d be awful. Like Khrushchev said, “the survivors will envy the dead.”
To add a bit for OP. This is 100% context dependent, I agree. My partner did this with her family and it was the correct choice imo. I have never met such a group of toxic individuals before—holy cow. To the point I felt like I was incredibly sheltered. She has some insane stories, somehow always worse than the last.
I get turning the other cheek, and looking at things from other’s perspective, but sometimes that just won’t do it. People can be truly awful and you have to take care of yourself when others don’t have the wherewithal (EQ) to understand the damage they do.