Mayonnaise some fancy condiments. - Jeff Foxworthy

The article reads like the Onion spoof on the razor blade wars.

https://theonion.com/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades-1819584036/

Lee Majors or Ryan Gosling?

Pornhub has scientists?

Or that fighter jets hunted birds.

Those aren’t photos they’re mushrooms.

If they’re the psychedelic kind and you took too many, I can understand your confusion. My advice would be to not operate heavy machinery for a while.

I’ll take *How’s it going Mr Peterson?" for $1000.

I never jest. And stop calling me Shirley.

Also can’t spell cue.

What if your intonation just made it sound like a question?

“The Eiffel Tower?”

Do not taunt happy fun ball.

Don’t anthropomorphize dead stars. They don’t like it.

Well, technically, pretty much everything else does too.

No other planet has as many small inner moons as Uranus.

That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.

That’s no moon.

Fish fingers and custard!

And my stapler.

The bus

Ammitday!