What were they called before beds were invented?
Bugs
Beds predate language. Non-human apes build “nests” - beds in trees - to sleep in.
But is it really a bed when you didn’t get it from Ikea?
Haha, but batbugs and birdbugs - bedbug cousins that prefer the blood of bats or birds - are a thing. Bedbugs and their preference for specifically human blood evolved alongside primates starting to build sleeping structures.
The middle frame; That’s Kramer busting in the door.
I could practically hear it
This is a censored version. There was actually an impolite intersection uttered suggesting that something occur “sideways,” from which a troubling tradition has merged: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_insemination?wprov=sfla1
It’s such a creepy biological characteristic. Bedbugs are mildly social, and prefer to sleep near other bedbugs. But the traumatic insemination seems to be unpleasant for the females, and after enough holes are poked all over their bodies, they will leave the main colony. A single inseminated female hitchhiker is normally how they infest new places.
