cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/837122
I’m a man and so far this has happened only with other men, but I’m genuinely baffled as to why some people do this. It has happened thrice so far in 3 different work settings:
One was a fifty-ish coworker who, 3 minutes after knowing me started a monologue/rant: ‘I’m very Christian, there are too many migrants and refugees in this country, when their wars are over, we have to send them all back’. Kept repeating the ‘very Christian’ part quite often and talking about his conservative wife. I sat there, not knowing how to react until he said ‘but let’s not talk about politics’. We parted ways. I didn’t work with him after that.
Another one is even better: no more than 4 minutes after knowing him on our first shift together: ‘democrats and unions are useless (this was working in an unionized hospital where the union got us a raise, including his), there are too many Arabs in America, if Biden keeps letting migrants in, there’s going to be another civil war, when Trump wins everything is going to be better, you’re lucky to be only part Mexican, because you don’t look too dark. When I was younger I was a right wing extremist, but not anymore and I’m not racist, because I’m married to a Croat.’
Speechless as well. How do I react to that?
The third one was not so unhinged, but opened his wallet to show me pictures of his service in the navy and then started to talk about his health issues. 20 minutes in our first shift together.
Why do some men do this?
Is this a way to test the waters to see how ideologically similar we are? Not everyone is going to think like you. Why alienate coworkers?
I’d never talk about my health issues with a person I barely know. You put yourself in a position to be exploited.
Do only older white conservative men do this?
A lot of men are desperate to connect with other people and for validation.
How do I react to that?
Say nothing.
Make a half step backwards. Stand still.
Look hard at them, slowly from top to bottom and back upwards, two times.Do only older white conservative men do this?
No. An older Hispanic man almost did it to me. He stopped himself, though, thankfully.
I’ve had women do this to me with their crazy, fucked up life and issues. The last one I remember was a coworker that I was standing in line with at a food truck. She just started talking about the mountain of medications she had and the health conditions that went with it. I don’t remember specifically what prompted it but it was completely unrelated and she intentionally steered the conversation to the subject. I was just like “uh huh” and as soon as I got my food I GTFO and avoided her until she got fired. I vaguely remember she had the biggest fucking melt down I’ve ever seen when they fired her. People heard her crying and wailing through the conference room door.
Say: “It’s great to meet another true Christian like myself. How much do you tithe to the church? I give 25% weekly. In the Bible, Jesus says to test him on the returns of tithing.”
Some very Christian guy kept telling me how he tithes and theta the Bible says God will pay back 10 fold. And that supposedly that’s the only rule in the Bible Jesus says for people to test the Lord on.
Hmm. I’d say people want recognition or socialize. The right wing stuff is testing the waters. The rest wanting to talk. Especially when it’s about health, relationships… Those people just want to talk. With most people you can react accordingly and they’re able to tell from your reaction if you also want to chat and socialize.
With the immigrants stuff I found you can tell some people your experience and opinion is different. And that’ll pretty much end that conversation. With some people that doesn’t work at all and have the opposite effect.
Tell him: “I’m voting for Trump because he will deport all the banana republics, like Croatia. Best time for you to find an American wife.”