Hey I’ve definitely been in your place before. What got me learning coding skills was motivation for a career change, a platform that worked for me (Udemy), and accepting my failed attempts. Small bursts of motivation are more than what most people have. Utilizing them when they come on are opportunities to get a lot done in short periods of time. Don’t dedicate yourself to paths that don’t appeal to you, half the fun is figuring out what kind things make you tick.
As far as wanting to be dead, existentialism is always a painful bitch. Reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations helped me alot. It doesn’t take away pain, but can help cultivate core reasons for one’s actions. That helps with existing, at least for me.
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Hey I’ve definitely been in your place before. What got me learning coding skills was motivation for a career change, a platform that worked for me (Udemy), and accepting my failed attempts. Small bursts of motivation are more than what most people have. Utilizing them when they come on are opportunities to get a lot done in short periods of time. Don’t dedicate yourself to paths that don’t appeal to you, half the fun is figuring out what kind things make you tick.
As far as wanting to be dead, existentialism is always a painful bitch. Reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations helped me alot. It doesn’t take away pain, but can help cultivate core reasons for one’s actions. That helps with existing, at least for me.
Don’t beat yourself up.