cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/906126
I’ve observed if I say nothing (because I simply don’t know how to react), opinionated people think you agree with them, which I don’t. I don’t care.
what I want to tell him, next time he starts ranting: ‘I don’t care what you think, leave me alone’.
However, I may have to work with this person in the future, so what about ‘you don’t have to tell me everything you think, most of the time I don’t pay attention’ and if he keeps pushing it ‘it’s tiring working with a person who has to rant to feel good, it’s boring and makes me ignore you, which is a problem, because we work together.’ And leave.
What about ‘everybody has problems, maybe talk to a therapist? I cannot help you’.
Or maybe simply leaving when he starts his rants?
Unless you want to push back (clearly you don’t), I wouldn’t even acknowledge the topic or what about the topic makes you uncomfortable
“Hey man, this is a bar conversation. I don’t feel comfortable talking about stuff like this at work.”
I work in the same office as my best friend and I’ve told him similar - even though our politics are very closely aligned. Yes, I agree it would be funny if Trump shit his pants when he falls asleep in court. But I don’t want people to hear us talking about that
I just start asking questions of people like that. Never got a single coherent answer but it usually shuts them up.
Sorry man, I’m in another state of mind right now. I can’t even begin to think about what your saying atm
When poeple went on political rants at work I would say “let’s play a game. It’s called Don’t Talk Politics at Work. I’ll go first!” Then I would shut up, turn around and keep on working. Just replace politics with whatever. It’s low key funny with a deadpan delivery so I’ve never had anyone get mad at me for it.
A firm statement is fine in my opinion.
“It sounds like a lot but we need to focus on the work and this isn’t something that’s helping.”
If it continues, a direct message of “Not my thing. I really don’t have a dog in this race.”
“Can I just stop you right there?” like you have something important to say, and then just walk away leaving them confused as hell.
I have a very similar problem but in my case the coworker is my boss. I have basically had to tell him he is wrong and that nothing he is going to say to me is going to change my mind and that I want no more of that conversation, I then change it to something work related. Sadly this has become the new normal. Thankfully my boss is expected to retire in December so I just need to wait it out.
My coworkers tell me that I am the hero of the group for shutting the boss down in such a loud and aggressive way. But its so exhausting.
change the subject
This isn’t a good idea. This is just burying the issue rather than confronting it.
They will bring it up later.
Not if every time they start up you start talking about fossil species.
“You see what they are up to now?”
“That’s a good question. Personally I am a fan of Cambrian, but who can deny how good the Permian was. Sure, the Jurassic had all the dinosaurs, but stuff Radiodonts and Hallucigenia are just so cool.”
If YOU become the person who talks about boring stuff all the time, you force THEM to avoid you! Genius!
Or, it turns out that they also enjoy dinosaurs and you can geek out together about that!
Exactly.
And people around you will laugh at them, appreciating your approach.
Doesn’t have to be ancient life, you could also tell them about:
Farming techniques in the middle ages centering around Southern France in comparison to Manchuria.
Your favorite clothes buttons of the Victorian era.
The nuances of tardigrade body language.
The evolution of footwear prior to hard soles.
The fascinating history of rivets.
How women in the early 1900s are responsible for how unhealthy fast food is today and why the government can’t do anything right.
All about the history of houndstooth as it relates to fashion and feudalism.
Why they should bring back lawn darts for the betterment of our schools.
And so many more conversations that will allow you to work in peace.
That’s why I said be repetitive. It takes time. When they learn that all you do is go off on a tangent, they’ll stop trying to use you for their personal sounding board.
In a way, you’re responding to them in kind by reframing the convo to a subject in which they aren’t interested.
You wanna be insensitive to others, and ignore the social cues that other’s aren’t interested just so you can selfishly rant? OK, I’ll do the same, only with a subject that isn’t divisive or inappropriate.
“How about those Mets?”
Said every time, unvarying, as a response.
When all they ever get from you is utterly unrelated, they’ll stop.
Or just change the subject completely, don’t even acknowledge what they said, or make it really ridiculous. Like they talk politics, say" yea, my dog does this weird thing when politicians come on the tv" then tell a long, meaning, drawn-out, meaningless, made-up story about your non-existent dog.
Or “I don’t really know anything about it, and don’t really care to. Hey have you seen that email about vacation?”
Let me take it away and think about it - fit the non committal
That’s a good idea you should take it to the boss - they won’t because they know its a bad idea and wanted your backing
I’m sorry but I dont have time to discuss this at the moment. - firm but polite brush off
Please drop this I have no interest in pursuing it at this time. - if they really persist
