Lavatory paper, toilet tissue, bog roll, bumwad, arse wipe, shit tickets; we all need it but I can’t find a good one for a reasonable price.
Obviously I don’t want the tracing paper you get in a public toilet, but it seems a waste to pay for the quadruple-velvet perfume-soaked premium nonsense. Supermarket own brand is soft enough but tends to fall apart. Who Gives A Crap is environmentally friendly but their basic stuff disintegrates immediately and their premium stuff is even more expensive than the fancy Andrex.
And no, there’s no room for a bidet.
Costco toilet rolls are the superior product, my friends. Trouble is you get something like 48 rolls in a wholesale packet - so you need somewhere to stash them.
Just buy a garden shed and fill it with bog roll. The next time there’s a pandemic, sell it to Australians as individual rolls for 10x market value. Like a sort of strategic reserve.
Somewhere dry, in a sturdy container to protect it against pests.
Which Costco also sells. Those 40+ quart translucent containers hold most of the 38 rolls you get from them.
(I’ll admit to a little sarcasm - it’s funny Costco sells these giant packs of bog roll, and also sells you the box to store it in. Irony, right?)
Quart? I’m not storing a bushel of grain to be inspected by the lord of the manor!
Seriously though I do love efficient storage containers and would happily fill the house with them.
Hey, if you have a lord of the manor, quart comes from your measurement system!
We’ve managed to cut the crazy units down to a handful just for special occasions
I can see we are finally asking the real questions. Velvet Quilted.
I go with quilted. Not artisinal, hand-crafted, 8-ply quilted with a 3000 thread count of Egyptian cotton, but… heh… wait for it… bog standard supermarket own brand quilted. See what I did there? No? I’ll let myself out.
I’ve been with Cushelle tubeless for quite a while now and it feels as pleasant as a wipe could be
Asda Shades So Soft. I tried Aldi but it just seemed to run out quicker.
