I go with my gf to her grandmas lake house every year, and while its relaxing and fun, I absolutely notice a change in her demeanor, I find I have to walk on eggshells around her and every other thing I say or do seems to be wrong and warrants nagging. I have confronted her about this but she seems to deny any change in behaviour is happening and just retorts with “well I told you xxx!”

Obviously her family is stressing her out but it kills me that she won’t acknowledge that, especially since I’m such a straightforward person who likes to discuss what’s going on. And that shes such a family girl on top of that. I’m planning on marrying her but i m just not sure how to discuss this particular point of contention with her first, because it’s one of the few things she’ll get actually defensive about

  • Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    My wife does the same thing. We’ve been married for 10 years and over time I learned that her family is fairly emotionally abusive and it was more of a coping mechanism. Still happens, but we rarely deal with that part of her family now.