I go with my gf to her grandmas lake house every year, and while its relaxing and fun, I absolutely notice a change in her demeanor, I find I have to walk on eggshells around her and every other thing I say or do seems to be wrong and warrants nagging. I have confronted her about this but she seems to deny any change in behaviour is happening and just retorts with “well I told you xxx!”
Obviously her family is stressing her out but it kills me that she won’t acknowledge that, especially since I’m such a straightforward person who likes to discuss what’s going on. And that shes such a family girl on top of that. I’m planning on marrying her but i m just not sure how to discuss this particular point of contention with her first, because it’s one of the few things she’ll get actually defensive about
My wife does the same thing. We’ve been married for 10 years and over time I learned that her family is fairly emotionally abusive and it was more of a coping mechanism. Still happens, but we rarely deal with that part of her family now.