True story…

• In Asia with my giant, overweight Latino looking friend (he’s actually half-Asian, half-white, but to Asians he looks like a Latino)
• I am white and smaller (everyone is smaller next to this dude bro)
• We drank all day and night. It’s summer. We are unkempt after a punk show. We are dressed like bums.
• Probably got a bit of body odor going on - not gonna lie.
• I have to do a big beer shit.
• On the subway - the air conditioning has broken.
• It’s Asia, everyone is standing shoulder to shoulder.
• I can’t help it - I do a rancid fart. Not loud, but silent but deadly.
• “Oh God, Lovsti, bro, you can’t do this - all these people think I farted because I am a fat fucking giant, they are all looking at me like I am an animal,”
• “I apologize, my frand, but I can’t help it. I will try to stop it but it’s a long ride. Might happen again.”
• Happens again - several times - over the next forty five minutes
• Everyone hates him
• Nobody thinks the smaller white guy is destroying the train with toxic beerfarts

Good times.