As I inch closer to 30, it’s hard not to feel the weight of this unspoken expectation that by now, I should have it all sorted out—career on track, relationships settled, finances stable, basically the full package.

But I can’t help but wonder, is this just an unrealistic societal pressure we’ve all absorbed, or is there some truth to it?

When I talk to my friends, it’s clear we’re all over the map. Some are married with kids, while others are still figuring out what they even want to do with their lives.

It makes me question if these timelines we think we’re supposed to follow really make sense.

Do you feel this pressure too? And for those who’ve crossed the 30-mark, did things actually start falling into place, or is this whole idea of “having it together” by 30 just a myth?

I’d love to hear how everyone else is navigating this stage of life.

  • Nollij@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    4·
    3 months ago

    Let’s start with the question, “pressure from who?”. Do you even care about their opinion?

    As I age, I care less and less about vague social obligations like that. I live my life for me, not for them. Yes, there are things that are better/easier/whatever when you’re young. There are also things that are easier if you start them when you’re more experienced, or financially stable. None of them give a particular fuck about the calendar. You’ll do them by 25. Or 30. Or 40. Or not at all. If you want to settle down and have kids, go ahead and do it now. If you don’t, then simply don’t. If you are career-driven, do whatever you can right away. This is true whether you’re 25 or 55.

  • fjord_monkeyEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    I had my last kid and bought my first flat right before turning 40, but I’m broke as fuck. Can’t afford a big enough car, and the next time it breaks I just have to suck it up and take the bus. I have to save for small expenses months before hand. My mental health is fucking terrible and I’ll finish paying for my shitty small flat 3 years after I’m dead. Until then I’ll have to live like a fucking student but without the parties. Did I mention I’m broke as fuck.

    I’m even thinking of learning music production and game design as a side gig so I can barely fucking scrape by.

    Edit: also I should point out that you’re asking this on hilarious chaos. It’s hardly the place for serious advice. You know there’s a community called “farts and poop!” Right?

  • tacosanonymous@lemm.eeEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    I didn’t get married until 33, got my Master’s at 39. Living is winning. Don’t rush to conform to someone else’s ideal you.