I have a wonderful senior dog and he’s my best friend. And I’m so scared of his aging. As he’s slowing down and I keep an eye out for medical issues I just can’t imagine how and when to make a call about his life.
I work all day away from home and live by myself, which was not the situation when I’d adopted him initially. I don’t have a community or friends or family around to help during the day if and when it comes to that. I can’t afford dog sitters especially not ones with training.
What if he could be fine with more support and money, should I give him back to animal rescue?
I’ve lost four senior pets in the last 3 years, all between 14 and 23 years old.
You make them as comfortable as possible for as long as you can, and you shower them with love and treats for as long as they live.
When you have to let them go, you stay with them until their last breath and you thank them for all the years they gave you.
Go home and bawl your eyes out. Grieve for as long as you have to.
But never, ever, ever give them up or give them away. They deserve better.
There’s a bit in one of the Expanse novels where one of the main characters is remembering a dog he’d lost as an adolescent. The dog laid down and one of his parents explained what was happening. He vowed to remain at it’s side until it’s last breath, but after three hours he was just bored.
That bit always stuck with me.
Been there. Christ, it was hard. But the vet team left us alone for the end. The best of the worst situation, so to speak.
Ten years later and I still tear up at the memory of it.
Knowing I have the same experience coming in the near future sucks. But it’s better than the alternative, I guess…
Talk to your vet. Senior dogs may have incontinent issues but just clean it up or put pads down.
You don’t necessarily need others help.When the time comes, just think of your pet and don’t let them suffer. I let my little boy suffer at least a day longer than I should have because I couldn’t say goodbye, but don’t let your best friend sit in pain.
Don’t feel bad if they have a medical issue that you can’t pay for. That is common and doesn’t make you a bad pet owner.
If he seems happy and not in pain, then nothing is wrong. Consider setting up a nanny cam, so you can check on him throughout the day.
I’ve had to make the call on senior pets about four times now, and it’s tough. Sometimes it’s easier, when they’re in visible and obvious pain and sometimes it’s hard, when there’s no one thing you can point to. The lovely home vet who helped my last senior kitty pass said it helps to keep track of the good days and bad days. If your pet is affectionate, playful, can get excited, that’s a good day. If they hide, lie in quiet places and aren’t interested in things they usually love then that’s a bad day. When the majority of their days are bad days, it’s time.
I wouldn’t think your dog would have better care in a shelter, even if you’re feeling guilty about being away a lot. Maybe there’s a way to shift your schedule to have more time with your dog when he’s most active, or maybe there’s a local kid who wouldn’t mind hanging out with your dog on certain days. It’s worth exploring more options because a shelter will almost certainly be a worse experience for him.
My personal rule for eol and my pets is whether or not they can enjoy the things they used to. Can’t get into your window seat? Here are some stairs. Can’t go up the stairs to your window seat due to pain…I’m afraid we need to go for a ride soon.
Went through something similar with my 17 year old cat. They hide their suffering so well but I could tell at the end he wasn’t having a good quality of life. My elder parents he was living with couldn’t bring themselves to make the call so I made the tough but necessary decision to humanely release his spirit from the failing meat machinery. Rest in peace Boots and thanks for taking care of mom and dad for me.
I often see people post about things like that in my neighbourhood network.
Ask around in your neighborhood and on next door or a similar online community. Especially in cities there are lots of people around who love dogs, but can’t have one of their own. Some of them might be happy to spend some time with your dog during the day.
I actually did that for a while with a neighboring cat. Instead of hanging at home, I would just hang at their palce for a couple of hours in the afternoon to keep the cat company. This wasn’t pet sitting, just spending quality time with a pet that would otherwise be alone for the whole day.
I have a Shih-tzu/Bichon that’s about 17 now. She’s missing most of her teeth, and has trouble with stairs, but still curious, excitable and ready to cuddle anyone who’s willing. People walk past the house and think she’s a puppy because they see her running to meet them.
Don’t let a number like age worry you too much. Dogs would always prefer more time with their owners, but I don’t think having some peace and quiet to lounge around while you’re at work is doing any harm. He’d much rather have you for a few hours at night, than be left with strangers.
Best of luck to both of you!
I have a 15 year old (will turn 16 in November ) Shih Tzu who naps a lot of the day, but speed walks during walks and zips down the hall and performs a donut at the end.
You don’t need more money to take care of an aging pet.
You deal with the medical issues until you decide not to, then you put the pet down.
There isn’t much one answer… I know how hard it can be.
As for being alone; how is he doing now, as far as being alone? Any chewing or destroying your stuff?
As far as letting go; we choose to put them down when they could no longer enjoy their lives. When they could not go out on their own; or when accidents happened more often than not.
It is never easy. It has torn me up every time.
There are services like Rover that can come check on your pet and take them for a walk. It’s fairly affordable in my experience. And as for when to say goodbye? If your pup is in pain or isn’t enjoying life, look into a service like Peaceful Passage. They come to you and although it’s great wrenching to say goodbye, they do a great job.
We went through this with our elderly pup during the height of COVID. Best of luck in whatever choice you make.
