Did your parents ever take a deeper interest in you and your interests outside of your needs?

  • Vanth@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    28 days ago

    I don’t think attempting to quantify neglect to identify who is most traumatized is a healthy or productive exercise in this case. Both are bad for the children involved with so many internal and external variables affecting outcome.

    • j4k3@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      28 days ago

      It has deeper meaning to me, and I’m curious about outside perspectives to the point of playing devil’s advocate if I must.

      The next real conversational question is, what is the difference between a parent that is well intentioned but not smart enough to take a deeper interest in their child beyond just the child’s fundamental needs, and one that is smart enough to have neglected to take an interest?

      Edit: I’m getting the hint, I guess. People don’t want the messy therapeutic hard conversations or deeper subjects.

      Growing up, I went to a magnet high school. Every Wednesday, we would spend half a day in home room having discussions about topics like this. That was my favorite school experience; sitting in a circle of a mixed group and having an open minded discussion. The school was on the edge of some rough neighborhoods and was 90% black, k-12, admission by application only, uni prep, and on the campus of a state college. It was intended to uplift the best and brightest in the local community while drawing in students from a wider pool as well. This type of question is only negative if you choose to view it in that light. It is very healthy to be open to the potential perspectives and experiences of others even on hard subjects.

      There is a lot of nuance in what can be neglect in this kind of question. The majority of neglect is likely ignorance and the result of continuing the mistakes of their parents. By discussing these things casually and openly, it increases community awareness and helps to potentially break the cycle by getting someone to think about how they spend their time and what it means to be a good parent.