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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • Went out with this girl I really liked but brought a friend too just to make it less one on one and more casual. I really liked her and thought it went well. When I drove my friend home, in conversation, he told me I could do better. It was such a stupid destructive thought. All three of us were into the arts. He was into videography, she was photography, and I was painting airbrushed graphics on motorcycles. I dated her for a little while again later and more seriously, but my life was more of a mess then and it didn’t work out. That was one of my biggest mistakes in life; not realizing my lack of emotional depth and letting other’s opinions hold sway or weight. I partition my emotions now. I’m not sure how I feel in the moment. My first reaction is likely worthless, so “I’ll have to get back to you later” - is my usual response. People who whine about how everyone is about to lose their job at work, or tell me how I should feel about others are like giant red flags telling me to avoid them as toxic. Really, in a way I do not lack emotional depth as much as that part of my inner voice speaks quietly and I need to take the time to listen to it carefully. That girl and life lesson are the same thing to me; an abstracted patch, forever holding that part of my personality. When that red flag flies in my head, she is the one waving it; holding me back; telling me to think it through.


  • This is insane logic. Like there are killers in prison so all humans are killers type of nonsense. I can go out on the street and give someone a hundred bucks to say absolutely anything on camera. At an individual level, submitting this as proof of anything is psychotic. As far as I’m concerned the criminal gerrymandering corruption is the noise floor. When some asshat can lose the popular vote and still win, you better sure as hell show me evidence of a disparity greater than that percentage of difference. That is the standard of conservative criminality. Your standard. It works both ways buddy. If you can’t show multi sourced bipartisan evidence if this scale, you fail your own corrupt standards of voting requirements. You need proof of hundreds of thousands and not some tin foil hatted trailer trash speculative garbage or half baked conspiracy nonsense.




  • j4k3@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.worldManCave decoration
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    2 days ago

    I would go with hard science fiction futurism. You get to write your narrative future history of humanity and nothing about your choices are restricted to following the styles or decor consumerism.

    For example, humanity has moved into thousands of 35 km × 9.1 km O’Neill cylinders with centrifugal spin gravity, mostly in cislunar space. We renamed the planet Wild Earth, and only a small scattering of indigenous humans choose to remain planetary caretakers. The age of scientific discovery has long past. Science is primarily an engineering corpus. Our primary technology is entirely biological, and in complete elemental cycles balance. All phenomenon of biological nature are accessible to us with a few genetic # inclue libraries and a few lines of code. We grow a banyan frame of a building and dial in our colors and patterns on living chitin walls, while more regal structures of ginkgo trees last nearly forever. Biocompute is a thing with the synthetic brayn. All is accessible with a complete understanding of biology.

    Allowing your imagination to run freely in this space is therapeutic on a level that I find deeply satisfying, and dare I say hopeful. Getting others talking about this can create change. Futurism is anti dystopian. Many will try to call it utopianism, but I counter that they simply lack depth of imagination. The full spectrum and challenges of such a future creates a powerful lens for inspecting and critiquing the present. That is the best way I can imagine the experience of creating a space and the type of space that inspires positive conversations I want to share with others.


  • It would probably be more enjoyable if the design was made in 3d geometry where both the existing work in progress and the individual pieces have more tactile uniqueness and a more congruent memory process. I imagine the mostly similar keys and various values would be tedious and frustrating without the additional visual cues. I am limited to around 6 memory fronts of focus at once where I can maintain my fastest focus and cognitive fluidity, at least this is the case with games like the open source Gauguin. I would likely find satisfaction in solving puzzles that constrained my solutions to a similar key/value dictionary. It might be an interesting thing to create in Open SCAD and parameterize.





  • Most cases have ridiculous nonsense for cooling though. Laptops usually have considerable thermal engineering, but kinda set the threshold of real hardware requirements.

    I was just given an old “gaming rig” someone didn’t want that had water cooling, 9 fans, a cobweb of LED wiring, and the most obese ABS panels attached to the sheet metal case… The thing works fine even when overclocked with no fans except the one built into the power supply and GPU. Only the one in the GPU cycles on enough to be audible… This guy had a freaking harrier jet taking off in the room beside him for a decade.









  • The thing with cognitive dissonance is also a bit more subtle than just the duality of conflicting beliefs. It can often arise from unidentified conflicts that are outside of your conscious self awareness.

    One that I am familiar with is religion. I knew a whole lot about the bible and christianity growing up. From an early age I halfway knew things like how, when I looked at road cuts through bedrock, those layers hinted at deep time and held a story that wasn’t well alined with my beliefs. Then there was my love of dinosaurs as a kid and that too did not mesh with my religious narrative. Each little element of conflict was present on some subconscious like level, and my life became partitioned between this narrative belief system and evidence based reality. I had lots of peripheral consequences in life due to this building conflict, but I never allowed the core issue to come to a head in an attempt to rectify the disparity until I was around 30 years old.

    Cognitive dissonance can also be dangerous and is a contributing factor in many crimes and heinous acts humans commit. Alternative expressions of individuality may also have an origin in cognitive dissonance. Identification of these underlying conflicts is reflective of a person’s self awareness and can help one improve one’s mental health by taking productive action to resolve inner conflicts after identification.




  • Comes up and puts a paw on my arm or leg, but only when she feels the problem is serious. It could be water, food, liter box, or just a notion that I need to give attention due to hours working on some project or something; usually when I’m seriously hurting or sleep deprived. I’m always present, only ever leaving for doctors or a physical therapy routine. I’m accessible for both cats most of the time. The older seems to intuit not to abuse the gesture or use it often. When she does put her paw on me like that, I always look into the issue, so we’ve developed it as a form of direct communication that seems to work. I didn’t train her to do this, I did however train her to be quiet using positive reinforcement. We got the older cat about 6 months after I was disabled, so we’ve been through a lot together in the last 10 years.