My daughter is 14, but I’m sure answers for kids younger or older can apply.

  • AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social
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    6 days ago

    So, do what you need to do for your family. But I’ll say this. I spent time looking into this last go round because I knew Biden was a temporary reprieve. I’m the parent of a trans kid, we did not leave the country for several reasons.

    The entire western world is experiencing this dramatic rise in fascism. There’s no guarantee that you will actually avoid this long term.

    Many countries (especially the UK) have draconian immigration rules, see above note about fascism.

    We ultimately decided to move to a blue state, from a red one, primarily for safety reasons, and made it happen over a couple years. We are far happier in this situation and are now able to help extract other loved ones from similar situations.

    Again, do what you need to do for yours and your family’s safety, but you’re in for a tough go of it regardless of what you choose.

    ETA: I went as far as interviewing for some jobs in Canada after building my immigration profile and starting the job search in NZ.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      6 days ago

      The UK is eliminating conversion therapy. The U.S. still has it and Trump has a good chance of forcing people into it.

      I’m a dual citizen, I have a queer daughter. I think it’s worth taking advantage of that since my wife and I wouldn’t forgive ourselves if she got taken from us.

  • gi1242@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    if you’re planning to leave because trump got elected, then be warned. the UK has similar problems

    • misery mansion@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Similar risks I would say. The UK by and large chose “the sensible option” in the last general election. The equivalent of Harris/dems, or the “anti chaos” option.

      Reelecting Trump vs reelecting the Tories is a fair comparison, especially as the Tories are moving further and further right wing.

      In summary the labour party have about 3 years to make some noticeable impact to people’s lives in the UK, but all that against the backdrop of huge financial issues incurred during the past decade or so, increasing war and conflict and now the Trump presidency.

      There very well maybe people who will follow the conservative party on their way further right. The UK already had it’s brexit moment and has not really learned from it fully.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      The UK government is getting rid of conversion therapy. Labour wants to, the king wants to, the C of E wants to, and because of the last part, enough Tories want to that it will happen.

      So it doesn’t have similar problems when you have a queer child.

  • oderus@lemm.ee
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    6 days ago

    We moved to NZ temporarily with 8 and 5 year ollds and they had to make new friends, be away from family and only see people from back home via video calls. Luckily the school and community are nice and welcoming so they rolled with it really well.

    The visa application was long and expensive (application fees, specific medicals for immigration, etc.) so that part can get immensely frustrating.

    What really helped is having similar aged neighbors for the kids to play with where we can hang out with a few beers as well.

  • The Snark Urge@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    No advice yet as I’m in the same exact boat. We’re about to get ours evaluated for ADHD privately while unconvinced it’s the best option… Ours is young enough that he doesn’t really have memories of the US and started school here, but still comes off as blatantly American. It’s been a comedy of errors learning how the school system works (putting him and my wife through school the last 3 years, somehow).

    But hey, hit me up if you’re ever out near Kent, I figure I owe you a pint or three for all the work you do to keep things fresh on Lemmy.

      • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        I wasn’t (as) worried until Trump won. Now we’re going to have Trump sycophants running our federal government.

        Here is a ‘great’ report on Canadian preferences for the States. It highlights fun facts like:

        Q: An American Presidential Election will be held in November. Which candidate would you most like to see win?

        Majorities of both men and women in Canada prefer Kamala Harris over Donald Trump. However, the preference for Harris is somewhat stronger among women (68%) than among men (51%). While only a minority of men prefer Trump, they are 12 percentage points more likely to do so than are women (27%, compared to 15%). Since 2020, Trump’s appeal has increased by seven percentage points among men (from 20% to 27%) and by five points among women (from 10% to 15%).

        And then we get to this:

        FIGURE 5 U.S. presidential election: preferred candidate, by federal vote intention (2024)

        And if you were curious if it was just a Con thing, as usual no, it’s men again:

        I’m extremely worried for my queer and female friends and loved ones. My queer child is already getting more and more aggressive threats from both people they know and don’t know. Two weeks ago it was threatening to attack them after school. Last week was a bottle thrown at them with a ‘vote Trump, fag!’ shout.

        I won’t stand by that, so I’m going to dress and act as out as I ever have, so they come for me instead. Come at me, Cons, I’m not afraid.

  • ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Neurodivergent kids can get an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). We’ve found this great with the right state school - break time provisions, 1:1 sessions, mental health help, extra time in exams etc.

    I would say get a report from an educational psychologist (even though they say you don’t need to below) or arm yourself with evidence, most likely, like all benefits in the UK, you may have trouble with the first application, but get help from a charity or professional with wording and apply again, every time helps.

    Happy to have you!

    https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/applying-for-ehcp-without-educational-psychologist-report

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      Thanks. We have a full report from a place that does evaluations with lots of test result information, so hopefully that will work.

      I really appreciate all of these websites people are sharing!

  • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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    6 days ago

    Is your kid neurotypical? If so it’s going to be much easier for you to move almost anywhere in the UK.

    If not, and/or if you can afford it, look into smaller private schools with lots of extra curricular activities going on. With the smaller class sizes, education and potential for assimilating with peers will be drastically improved for your kid, and you will have a much easier time meeting other parents and forming a community too.

    Otherwise state schools with lots of arts and sciences funding are probably your best bet, so look into that, find a good one and try to move to their catchment area.

    Also if you or your kid have any mental/health issues, get health insurance. NHS waiting lists are very long and the quality of service is often poor, especially for people in vulnerable situations and for visibly queer/trans/neurodiverse female presenting/bodied folk. Honestly, just get health insurance anyway if you can afford it, it should be cheaper here than in the US at least.

    Disclaimer: I’m neither a parent nor an American in the UK, but I am from here and went to a lot of schools as a kid (moved a lot) and I am queer.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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      Thanks for all the info. Unfortunately she is not neurotypical and she does have mental health issues. We will try to get insurance ASAP, but we may just have to deal with the NHS at first. I have major medical issues myself.

      For the beginning, as long as we can get our medications refilled, we’ll be okay. We’ll see what we can afford in terms of other things. That said, she is very willing to put in the effort herself to make this work because she knows what’s at stake, so hopefully that determination will help her.

      • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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        6 days ago

        Some areas in the UK have drastically better autism and adhd services than others. Like day and night drastically.

        From memory, and sorry to direct you back there, Reddit’s UK autism and adhd boards did have some resources on this, and will probably have enough of a user base to be able to give you a good idea of where is currently good or bad.

        Cheltenham is probably still really good for both NHS and charity/independent adhd, autism and mental health services for both kids and adults- but my information on the area is now nearly 5 years old, so you will have to look it up for yourself.

        And I can only speak for NHS adult adhd, autism and MH services in North London, but they’re next to non existent here and will, from experience, very likely be actively detrimental when you are able to access anything.

  • frostysauce@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Why the UK, why not Ireland? It’s still a fairly conservative society but the government isn’t nearly as hostile to it’s citizens and you get to be part of the EU.