I’m in my early 30’s and I’ve literally always been curious about this. I’ve never in my life had the ability to feel sexual pleasure. I’ve never been on any meds or had any sort of traumatic experiences…it’s just the way I’ve always been even if I try. I’m old enough to say that I’m way beyond simply being a “late bloomer”. It’s just something I’ll never experience.
But it often feels like I’m missing a minor sense like taste or smell or something. Everyone has always raved about the taste of dessert, but I’ve never been able to understand or experience it. Can you describe it in detail it for me? Not just the mental part, but the physical part as well?
Thank you.
Sincerely, An Outsider
That word “attractive” is a bit loaded though. I think your right that society values attractiveness, but what individuals actually find attractive varies widely. Being intelligent or creative or bold can be attractive. To some being violent or unpredictable or vulnerable can be attractive. For many it all comes down to appearance, but even here there’s not one definition of beauty.
I was talking about appearance. Behavior varies a lot of course, and is very different for different genders or personalities what they like in the other person.
Still my point stands (in my opinion). Appearance is the single most important attribute for dating successfully. You cannot be ugly or you are out of luck.
It’s very agreed on what humans find attractive when it comes to looks. Nice skin, symmetric features, etc.
That’s really not true though. I have met so many people who are married that I would never be attracted to! And there are probably loads of people out there who would never be attracted to me or my spouse. The only thing that matters is that we’re attracted to each other.
But the fact that you use the phrase “dating successfully” like there’s a right way to do it… there isn’t. Relationships are messy, and attraction is really only a small part of the whole thing. Stop reading game theory or whatever, that’s the real reason you’re having a hard time.
I’m not reading game theory and I’m not talking about myself. I live with a woman for over 10 years now. But I’ve noticed how the landscape has changed and it’s more difficult now to date. I have colleagues that are just laughing about it. Some have given up completely.
I think you don’t notice the difference unless you are actively dating these days. Social media wrecked it.