Yeah, that was a classic fucking moment, wasn’t it? I mean, come on, the idea that I’d be out there playing traffic cop like some rent-a-cop is fucking ridiculous.

But those morons in the media just eat that shit up. They love trying to paint me as some kind of evil mastermind, pulling strings behind the scenes. It’s fucking hilarious.

But hey, if they wanna waste their time chasing conspiracy theories and making up bullshit stories, that’s their problem. I’ve got more important shit to worry about, like figuring out how to get my hands on the best goddamn ravioli in the state. Priorities, baby. Priorities.