• 2 Posts
  • 19 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • I’ve been on Mastodon for over a year and the content simply isn’t there. Several of the people that I follow on Twitter have tried moving or duplicating to Mastodon. They’ve had a fraction of the visibility and engagement from commenters that they would get on Twitter. Invariably after a few months they have essentially given up on it as a primary medium. For me the discoverability is essentially non-existent, which I don’t think is helped by the idea of it being based around instance-local communities, which have no meaning when you’re looking at something like Twitter.




  • You could consider

    • Cord: had some contact from companies leading to interviews but also some contact me and then ghost on response
    • Otta: more manageable search than LinkedIn
    • Hackajob: been a waste of time for me

    Linkedin is still the big gun. Really don’t like how they game everything around job hunting, or the endless sea of Indian recruiters from Hyderabad pretending to be in UK/USA who can barely speak English and ‘have a requirement…’ but clearly have no concept of geography.






  • My reason for stipulating that is that lot of people saying it do so either from ignorance (they simply don’t believe/understand that you might not be able to opt out) or on the basis of outdated information, e.g. “I bought my TV ten years ago and never had to do this”. Your experience being in the recent past I guess I could try this as a sale stipulation point, thanks.









  • OP: I sympathise and I can empathise with your situation. My advice would be to stay away and to move on with your life.

    The problem is that whenever you discuss this sort of situation in public or with people who haven’t been there themselves you always feel the burden of proof is on you to show how terrible the parent is- a burden that is never defined nor met. There’s always some new person to say “oh but she’s your mother” which is frankly irrelevant- if your ex became your stalker for example, nobody would say equivalent things. It doesn’t matter that you’re the one standing there and not the parent, people want to put them on the pedestal, not you

    IMO you should:

    • Accept and make peace that you explained yourself at the time on more than one occasion
    • Accept and make peace that parent won’t change- the site you’ve linked explained how narcissists can’t ‘hear’ you
    • Accept and make peace that you can’t continue to or return to dealing with them.
    • Realise that you won’t be able to discuss with or get validation from most people, even those supposedly close to you
    • Realise that this guilt/conflict is simply more narcissistic control/manipulation

    In my own case things that contributed towards finalising my position were:

    • Becoming a parent myself, so less time for other people’s rubbish and more awareness of ‘how should a parent deal with…’
    • That in the final few years we were corresponding mainly by email and so there was a written record to reflect on that clearly demonstrated a repetitive pattern

    Good luck