Most conservative pundits out there seem to all talk about how they wanted to do something specific with their life but it didn’t work out.
They like to blame the current systems and government for not doing enough to make them famous or popular or cool with the youth.
They then convince a bunch of people who are also unhappy but could have a lot of their issues with lack of time and resources fixed with money, that if they are unhappy while having money dumped in their lap than these normal people will be unhappy with it too. Hoping they fix some arbitrary reason they aren’t more famous.
I mean it sounds like you are exactly living what I am trying to talk about.
Being attached to a rich person and fed money doesn’t make you happy it just makes you wealthy enough to stabilize yourself. People raising to the needed position of lap dog often aren’t even doing it cause they find any pleasure in it but instead have failed to find pleasure in anything they want to do and now need the money to feel anything good about themselves at all.
Being at the whim of the rich is about giving up yourself to be the tool they need and accepting the misery of not being true to oneself.
What people actually need is the freedom that independent wealth allows and a willingness to accept that it might not be exactly to their dreams without dragging others down for more.