People keep telling me that dating today is a war zone, facing all kinds of challenges.

Dating apps don’t seem to be directly trying to help solve the problem as much as generate revenue. In fact, they are very directly motivated to not make great long term matches.

Some people seem think that just getting out there and hoping for the best is the answer. Maybe that’s true, but it’s still very random. I was wondering about a hypothetical alternative:

What if you could go to an agency of some kind get rated through a thorough evaluation process? Would that be helpful ? It’s not perfect, and many things are hard to measure. But maybe it’s a less random starting point and can escape the exclusively money driven approach of dating apps.

  • Vanth@reddthat.comEnglish
    14·
    3 months ago

    The only people I hear this sort of thing from IRL are also the ones who struggle to get out and make friends.

    Lots of the free “third spaces” are gone. Churches are on the decline. The pandemic fucked everyone’s socialization up. This isn’t just a dating problem, it’s a relationship problem.

    Paying for a matchmaking service is not a new idea. Someone with no friends and nothing to talk about besides work is still going to have a limited pool of people interested in dating them, even if they pay for matches.

    I seriously think most (not all bc there are always special situations) would benefit from getting into some hobbies and maybe therapy rather than expensive matchmaking services.

  • FlihpFlorp@lemm.eeEnglish
    8·
    3 months ago

    I’ve been with my GF for 2 years next January but we met in college we hit it off as really good friends and frankly I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it and here we are

    We’re just two weirdos being weird with half our conversation being inside joke gibberish

    I forgot what I was gonna say so there’s my anecdote

  • Fecundpossum@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    3 months ago

    5 years ago I met my wife on Tinder. I swiped with a paid “super like” to get to the front of the line. It worked. I would imagine tinder is still your best bet as far as getting to actually meet someone, but anything more than a bungled meetup is dependent on you not being a shit show, having a little charm, not being completely broke or devoid of motivation, etc. everyone’s mileage is gonna vary.

  • variants@possumpat.ioEnglish
    7·
    3 months ago

    I remember hearing about groups on the radio where you go on adventures with other single people looking for someone that seems like a cool way to do it

  • bouh@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    3 months ago

    The problem is not the how. The problem is that your agency is a company driven by profit. How do you make an agency that’s not driven by profit in a capitalist and consumerist society?

  • Soup@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    Love is not a logical thing and applying such rigidity is not a statistically very effective approach. It’s a social thing, dating, and you kinda need to play the game. The upside is that it’s a fun game if you play it right. It is random, and that’s just part of it. I would argue that the randomness is actually one of the main reasons it can be so enjoyable.

    Many of the people who might call it a “warzone” are frustrated men, who are mad that women are putting up with less bullshit these days, and those same women who are dealing with a large amount of those entitled, aforementioned men.

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    3 months ago

    It seems like a lot of younger technical folks keep going to hookup sites in an effort to find a date. Let’s be real clear here, hooking up and dating are not the same thing, and you usually don’t want to date someone you met at a hookup joint. Go meet people in the real world. Form a friendship with them. Then date them.