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I don’t necessarily think it’s been taken too far, but there doesn’t seem to be the same amount of attention to toxic femininity as there is to the masculine equivalent, even just calling it out will get you attacked or downvoted into oblivion sometimes. I think there are toxic women out there who will take advantage of men who themselves are trying to not be toxic, who are trying to evolve past some of those toxic societal expectations. These women are expecting toxic behavior, not getting it, so then they fill the perceived power vacuum and impose their own toxic behaviors, seeing a lack of male domination as a sign of weakness. It almost creates the expectation that toxic male behaviors are normal, but it’s being reinforced by the opposite sex rather than other men. Then when it’s called it out, it’s perceived as, “Men have no right to call out women on that, they need to worry about themselves.” And I get that it gets really close to incel territory to start blaming women for men’s problems, but it definitely feels like there’s a gender-imbalance with regards to who is “allowed” to call out who.
Can you elaborate on toxic femininity? This is legitimately the first time I’ve heard the phrase. What are some examples?
Fyi, not asking in a combative way. Men’s issues are a very important topic to me.
It’s similar in many ways to toxic masculinity, they’re almost like two sides of the same coin, in that it’s a sort of rigid adherence to gender stereotypes. They often reinforce each other, men have to act one way, women have to act another way. On the “low end”, it’s women conforming to beauty standards that society presents. But there’s also elements of anti-masculinity in it, that it’s all fair for men to be used as tools or pack animals, or as a source of free stuff/money, that it’s perfectly acceptable to use emotions, gender stereotypes, or sexual desire to get what you want. Men are simple creatures, so manipulating them is acceptable in the same way you would a farm animal.
I see what you mean.
Yeah, that kind of shit can fuck off.
[off topic?]
This is the best example I can think of to explain why men are willing to go to war.
Ty
There’s now lots of people who talk about the nuances of masculinity. It’s hard to deal with the topic and not find an earnest appeal to men to be in touch with their emotions and sensitive, logical, finely tuned men who understand themselves holistically… So, that’s good.
Obviously, there are still people who treat the topic in a way that is too shallow or pedantic and only portray masculinity in a way that is inaccurate and harmful to the idea of masculinity… But it’s easy to bypass that.
So, while there are still clear examples of it being misunderstood or people taking it too far, it’s not as big of an issue as it used to be, I think.
Most of the misconceptions I’ve heard (mostly from men) is of the nature of ‘so masculinity is toxic now?’ Folk don’t get that it isn’t general criticism of masculinity, just of certain constructions of it. Or that the toxic features are harmful to men to.
There is some level of wilful ignorance (which is in itself part of the toxicity), but in general all the social sciences have poor understanding among the general public. We get formally taught the basics of physical science from a young age, but are largely expected to pick up everything mental for ourselves until the mid-teens, if ever.
