I just had a chat about drugs with my son this week.
It always bothered me that I was told “Drugs are bad, mmmkay?” but when I met some stoners that weren’t living in a van down by the river, it made me wonder what else they had lied to me about, and I disregarded EVERYTHING they warned me about. Got in a little trouble, but just enough to learn from, and I’ve kept my shit together. I’ve also seen other’s lives fall apart.
So, I was open and honest with him. I told him to be smart. Remember that alcohol makes you act without thinking, and pot makes you think without action. Set rules for yourself so when your mind is altered, you don’t need to rely on it in tough situations. Everybody’s drunk and wants to go for a ride? Don’t get in that car. You will want to act without thinking, so remember your rule. You have a big paper due on Monday? Don’t smoke until it’s done, because you won’t get more creative, you’ll just not do it.
And I told him that there are lines he shouldn’t cross. Meth, opiates, and cigarettes. I told him about a friend who’s been hooked on meth for years and how she’s ruined the lives of everyone she interacts with. And cigarettes don’t really fit in with the rest of that list, but he knows I’m a slave to the things, and I told him how I went from the only non-smoker in the group to over a pack a day for the past 20 years.
I hope he was listening, and respects my honesty enough to stay safe, happy and successful.
“alcohol makes you act without thinking and pot makes you think without action” is so gonna be stolen for future use. Yoink.
Help yourself! I was particularly proud of that one. Seemed to summarize them perfectly!
For real. This is my basic approach to parenting too and I feel the same way about both substances (while also enjoying both), but I’ve never seen it expressed in just the right way like this. It’s perfect. Another one I’ve found useful is “drinking is borrowing happiness from tomorrow”. Applies to certain other substances to a degree but damn if it isn’t exactly right for alcohol. A loan is not always a bad idea, to be clear, but it’s good to be clear on the terms of any loan, lol.
This.
My parents were very open and honest about their drug use and the use of their friends and family. I set rules for myself and never got truly in trouble, I’ve definitely made dumb mistakes, but I’m definitely better off then some of my friends.
The only thing that my dad said that was really dumb was “it’s your choice, you can have chicks and cars or dudes and drugs”. At the time, I had almost no friends, never really had friends up until then. Growing up with severe socal and separation anxiety will do that. I didn’t really care about cars, chicks did drugs, so why not have some dudes too.
Edit: spelling
/remindme in 10 years to talk with my daughter like this parent did
You have a big paper due on Monday? Don’t smoke until it’s done, because you won’t get more creative, you’ll just not do it.
I actually love writing while high. Everything flows so much more easily for me, and I make connections I might not otherwise. It’s great when I’m having trouble just getting words on the page. It does usually require an extra passover in editing though lol
I hear ya, but we’ll at least wait until he’s in college to figure that out. 😂
Jokes on those people, now people live in vans on purpose (and I definitely can’t afford one).
Where am I supposed to get this van from?
Dude that apathy is no joke…
Kind of at that point right now. Everything seemed to be looking up in life, right on the cusp of everything going great, debt coming under control, future looking bright. Then just as my gf was finishing up nursing school, she breaks up with me, essentially says she’d been using me for the last year or two to make ends meet until she graduated. Everything I’d been thinking about was our future together, now none of that means anything. We have a kid together, so we still have to interact, but she treats me like a stranger now. Life just feels meaningless, it’s made the election easier because I honestly don’t care if everything burns down now.
One of my best friends lost her place of living when her boyfriend of 4 years said the relationship had actually ended in his head 2 years previously, but he needed the rent. But then he found a new girlfriend to grift from, “opened the relationship,” and they edged my friend out. I am still mad they did that to her; she was so heartbroken and damaged from that.
Wow, edged out of a relationship. Had never considered that possibility. All sorts of fucked up.
Everything I’d been thinking about was our future together, now none of that means anything.
In the same boat 2 years in. It hurts. Hope it gets better some day.
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dont suffer major depression
wow thanks im cured /s
How would that advice be useful?
They mean the advice does not acknowledge the risk of going into debt then becoming depressed
At no point was that mentioned in the OP
The post is saying that the helpful advice is about making choices and omits things outside of your control, like depression, that can lead to the same result.
The post isn’t saying to not be depressed.
It’s a sarcastic take on common advice. It’s implied by the inanity of the suggestion. Most people got it, wasn’t something you saw. You’ll get it next time :).
Pretty sure I got it and you meant to reply to breadsmasher.
Yup.
Advice never includes the warning: “dont suffer major depression…”
what? it literally does say that.
"Don’t suffer’ is different than “Don’t choose to be”.
Yeah… That’s the joke…
Hey kid, wanna try some depression? The first time is free!
Yeah but like, if you’re feeling depressed, have you tried feeling happy instead? Durr! /s
I have tried drugs, yes.
I don’t need to take drugs to suffer from depression and apathy. I’ve had that one for free since before 2nd grade.
That’s how I was with smoking. I tried a hit and it felt gross, but one day we were drunk and I tried a friend’s clove cigarette. Cloves, for anyone who doesn’t know, numb your throat and mouth, so I didn’t get any of those terrible sensations but I got one hell of a head rush. It turned into bumming smokes while drinking, to buying a pack for the weekend, to switching to camels, to full blown smoker.
I think you never heard your suggestion growing up is because there are many that had no choices or ways to avoid major depression.
Doing drugs, and not going to college are active choices that people can make. Bodily and environmental chemistry as well as genetics can be causes as well as formative years being abused or neglected can certainly lead to major depression. This says nothing of what life throws as us assuming you make it through childhood okay. Those aren’t things that a person can choose to avoid to avoid major depression.
Depression can happen over more things than just drugs. Plenty of life events can really stir it up that have nothing to do with user input.
You’re confusing cause and effect, I fear
