And he only accepts an endangered species of clams’ clam shells that can only be found in the Indian Ocean at a certain time of year, as a form of payment.
This means there is a significant waiting list of at least 3 months before a technician can attend. Of course, you can skip the queue by paying an additional $499.99 for priority service
Then you have to fight off the technicians drug dealer Lil Craig because he owes him exactly 499.99 that he took out of Lil Craig’s stash. If you survive gun shots in point blank range, then the technicians obwella (Mexican slang for aunt OB-WELL-AH) will only allow the service for installation if you marry the tech.
You do have the option of just paying a small extortion fee of $300 for Lil Craig to leave you alone. The Obwella is $200 extra for marriage cancellation. This can be conveniently pre-paid when you place your order.
Alternatively, a technician can be dispatched to your home to assemble the glasses for you, in exchange for a $399 call-out fee.
During which, he’s still on- call and has to go back and forth to you and other customers.
However, for another $200 extra, you can purchase technician exclusivity and he will not be on call anymore, but only for an hour.
And he only accepts an endangered species of clams’ clam shells that can only be found in the Indian Ocean at a certain time of year, as a form of payment.
Naturally, you can spend just $50 extra to unlock other technician payment methods.
And he’s the only technician with a license to perform the installation legally.
This means there is a significant waiting list of at least 3 months before a technician can attend. Of course, you can skip the queue by paying an additional $499.99 for priority service
Then you have to fight off the technicians drug dealer Lil Craig because he owes him exactly 499.99 that he took out of Lil Craig’s stash. If you survive gun shots in point blank range, then the technicians obwella (Mexican slang for aunt OB-WELL-AH) will only allow the service for installation if you marry the tech.
You do have the option of just paying a small extortion fee of $300 for Lil Craig to leave you alone. The Obwella is $200 extra for marriage cancellation. This can be conveniently pre-paid when you place your order.